Snap
by shamrockgreen
Summary: The problem is, soon DiNozzo will snap.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS, nor will I ever.

The problem is, soon DiNozzo will snap.

Ever since he was young, Tony learned that letting things slide was a lot less painful for everyone involved. Letting the constant abuse, both verbal and physical, from his mother and father slide was the only way he would survive. It wasn't like he could go to anyone for help. The doctor daddy DiNozzo employed was paid to keep silent. The help was promptly fired with explicit threats on their families' well-being if they even started to feel sorry for little bruised Anthony DiNozzo.

After his mother died, Tony didn't have to worry about being dressed up or treated like a little doll whose things were periodically mistaken for something quite different. But then his father blamed Anthony for his mother's death. The flinch that became a habit at this time took Tony years to hide. Anthony DiNozzo would slunk in the shadows to get from room to room in the huge mansion, holding his breath until he reached his destination without once hearing his father's angry voice.

The only time Anthony DiNozzo was semi-happy was when Rita was cooking for the DiNozzo's. She would smile at Anthony and let him sit in the kitchen for hours, teaching him Spanish. Anthony DiNozzo's eyes sometimes would lose some of the fear and replace it with pride at his ability to do something right. But as with most things in the DiNozzo household, daddy DiNozzo found out and fired Rita. Anthony wasn't able to see straight for a week.

When Tony was twelve things began to take a turn for the better. He was sent to the Rhode Island Military Academy, where daddy wasn't constantly drinking, swearing, yelling, and hitting. But Anthony knew his daddy was still watching him, so Anthony followed all the rules and allowed the military upbringing to let him relax little by little. On the one occasion Anthony went home for the holidays, daddy DiNozzo upped the game and made that summer he broke five bones, caused seventy-seven stitches, and forgot him at the hotel in South America for three weeks seem like a walk in the park.

The one thing that Anthony learned after that particularly nasty trip home was he was tired of letting everything slide. He snapped. Anthony was already disowned after killing his mother; he was already out of state, and beginning to excel in sports. Sports allowed Anthony to physically allow all of his pent up anger and grief out, without appearing weak.

On the last day of exams before his graduation from Rhode Island Military Academy, Anthony started to tell his father what he planned to do. Later that day Anthony went missing. The instructors and his classmates, who all liked Anthony fairly well, were slightly worried. Anthony had been planning an end of the term party, against regulations, but it was well-known that the instructors would most likely overlook the party- as long as nothing illegal was going on.

Anthony did not show up to graduation the next week, but the diploma was picked up by him a few weeks later. The sunglasses, long sleeved shirt, and bright smile did little to cover up the gashes and bruises. But the smile was real. It was real because, the dean found out; Anthony was finally free from his father. Tony, as he introduced himself to the dean, was going to Ohio State to play football and basketball. He wasn't even going to have to pay for it due to the scholarship he had won earlier that year.

College for Tony was the time where he finally let go and had fun. The nervous flinch he had physically disappeared, though the emotional one never left him. He never let anyone try to walk over him, and he let things slide off him that weren't so important, because it was innate. And until the Michigan game, Tony was going to go pro and marry his fiancé, finally life going his way. But as fate would have it, Brad Pitt broke his leg and his fiancé left him for his best friend after finding out Tony wasn't going to become rich and famous.

The next few months, Tony was in a dark place, he had snapped again. The broken leg wasn't the worst thing that happened to him; the lack of self control almost killed him. Anthony overworked his body trying to reach his old physical health. The alcohol never burned his throat anymore. He drank whiskey with his cereal and scotch with his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Vodka went with whatever dinner he scrounged and he had at least twelve beers every time he went to a bar. Slowly, he was killing his liver.

It wasn't until one morning he woke and his latest one night stand was shooting up next to him that Anthony vomited at his lifestyle. Her leg scratched his as he roll over her and ran out of his apartment. For the next few months, Anthony stayed with a buddy from college. The two finally sorted Tony out and he expressed interest in becoming a cop like his buddy. Not two days later, Tony enrolled in the police academy.

Tony soon realized his uncanny affinity towards the law enforcement. The next years, Tony was on cloud nine realizing this was finally where he belonged. Two years after he landed a job in Peoria his college buddy was shot on duty. Tony moved from Peoria to Philadelphia, and two years later he moved to Baltimore. Each time he left was a result of Tony's inability to fit with his co-workers. Never once did he leave and look back, never once did he leave and someone want him to stay.

Baltimore was where Gibbs found Tony, and soon Tony followed Gibbs to NCIS and Washington, DC. There Tony was set-up and he reached his full potential. Abby Sciuto and Doctor Mallard quickly realized that Tony was a mask that hid something, namely Anthony DiNozzo. Never before did anyone, let alone three people, realize that Tony was more than 'Tony' and still accept him into their lives. The next two years he and Gibbs worked together the wall Tony built around his heart began to allow Gibbs enter and finally become more like a father-figure to him than anyone else had.

When Tony realized he thought of Gibbs like a father, he promised to never lose Gibbs' trust, respect, or role as Senior Field Agent. Kate Todd would make fun of him for it once she became a part of the team. McGee would, on the rare occasion he would shortly grow a backbone, tease Tony about it too. Tony would let them, knowing that they were partially correct, and partially because he worked hard to make McGee stronger. The times McGee would show Tony that the incessant nicknames and jibes, which were mostly just Tony's ways of strengthening the younger agent, were helping McGee without his evening knowing was a moment of rare self-pride.

Still, he let things slide when they came close to the truth. Once, Kate came close to seeing how Tony really was on the inside, when she was griping about Tony growing up with money and having it easy. Anthony started to creep through, surprising Kate. Tony quickly clamped down and added a remark to make Kate smile. When she died Tony never felt remorse that she never knew Anthony DiNozzo, but he did wish she could have stayed long enough for him to pop up again.

Ziva's arrival to the team felt more like a slap in the face to him, she was someone who defended the man that killed Kate. Tony tried to let that slide too. It took him longer than he hoped to let it finally slide. He was starting to really like Ziva when the team was invited to dinner and he wasn't. Not her fault, he reasoned, that she didn't know how much Anthony seeked for a place to belong. But Gibbs and Abby knew, and that hurt him far worse, the mask of Tony DiNozzo briefly slipped before he put more defenses around him.

Usually, Tony could read things from Gibbs that no other could. He knew when Gibbs was contrite, angry, pissed as hell, sad, and occasionally worried. Given that the two were unused to verbal communication about emotions, it worked fairly well. Tony knew when he was being silently apologized to or that Gibbs had just been blowing off steam. Since Tony regarded the others as his sort-of family, he made himself the target of whatever emotion Gibbs needed to blow off so he could move on and solve the case. But sometimes Anthony could not read Gibbs as well as Tony could. Tony would spend weeks rebuilding defenses and building more. He let things slide.

Considering how much Tony went through with Jeanne, Tony was surprised how efficient he was at rebuilding and building and letting things slide without even considering what he was doing. So when the Agent Lee fiasco came to light, Anthony was severely hurt. He had just finished rebuilding and sliding and weaning off the alcohol when Gibbs let him down and Ziva blamed him for their predicament. Angrier then he had ever been before, Tony started yelling. First at Ziva and then Gibbs. Anthony was reminded of his father and he went home, after throwing up and the stark reminder of his father's tirades, Tony refused to let Gibbs back into his defences. Gibbs was letting him down just like his father had.

Life continued, though, for Anthony and soon he realized that his walls were starting to show and crumble. Anthony was making more appearances, and try as he might Tony was starting to falter. Much like he did before he snapped the two previous times. It's only a matter of time before Anthony DiNozzo snaps again, and this time it might not quite as easy to come back from.

Tony goes to bed worried that the next day would see him snap, see him break, see him fall so far apart no one would ever be able to help him put the walls back up and set the mask upon his face. He worries that one day daddy DiNozzo will make a reappearance, he worries that Gibbs will not speak and try to fix the still broken parts he made when he hurt Tony, he worries Ziva will find out he fell in love with her when she is in fact in love with someone else, and he worries that McGee will turn out like Tony, never knowing that Tony was in fact hiding Anthony. Because suddenly McGee was acting more like Tony and Anthony was trying so hard to keep that from scaring him.

Tony DiNozzo kept going though, hoping against time, hoping that he would be able to take some time off and let himself snap slightly. He hoped in doing so he could rebuild himself and come back strong.

He hoped against time, against life, and he lost. Anthony DiNozzo reappeared along with memories of his father and mother, Rhode Island Military Academy, broken legs, gasping under blue lights, pain from Gibbs' harsh words and actions, and lastly Kate mocking Anthony.

He finally snapped and Tony was huddled in his closet crying and staring at his gun, knowing he could never actually kill himself, because daddy DiNozzo would have been right. So he stayed curled up in the dark, knowing that his team would never think of looking there when they figured he wasn't going to come into work the next day.

A/N: Please let me know how I did! :)


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS.

Gibbs had a bad feeling as he strode into the bull pen Wednesday morning. Glancing around him, Gibbs noticed nothing in particular until his eyes stopped on DiNozzo's desk. The way that it looked made his gut churn. At first glance Gibbs felt something was off and as he made his way over to the desk he noticed a few things that baffled him.

For one, all of Tony's papers were placed haphazardly in two piles. The others may not realize it but Tony kept his paperwork fairly neat, always getting it done in ways mysterious to Ziva and McGee. Gibbs let his mind mentally head slap the two investigators for not realizing how Tony got all his work done. But as he continued his perusal, Gibbs became even more anxious. There were no pizza boxes or magazines or even candy wrappers in sight. Even if Tony didn't come in last night, which would surprise Gibbs, something would be present. He would leave something to confirm the others that their perception of him was correct, even though if they ever went to Tony's apartment they would find it rather clean- and slightly empty. A trait Tony had learned from moving every so often and the reminders daddy DiNozzo would periodically send Anthony's way.

The next thing he noticed was Tony's jacket crumpled underneath his chair. Gibbs reached down and picked it up smoothing away some of the wrinkles as he did so. Never would Gibbs have imagined he would see Tony's favorite suit jacket in a heap on the floor, especially without the agent being here. It meant that Tony was upset enough over something that he forgot his jacket and cleaned up everything after him.

The elevator sounded alerting Gibbs he was no longer alone. As Ziva stepped off, Gibbs quickly perused the rest of Tony's area. He sensed Ziva's confusion when she set her breakfast on her desk. He looked over at her and raised the jacket, knowing Ziva would understand, shortly.

"What? Did Tony," Ziva trailed off and looked suspiciously at the jacket. A beat, "That was the one Tony wore yesterday."

Gibbs waited hoping he didn't have to spell it out for her. Finally Ziva raised her eyebrows and half-shrugged.

"Ever see Tony forget his jacket," Gibbs barked.

Ziva looked back at the offending object before answering, "No. He would never leave anything important behind. Unless…"

"Yeah, unless," Gibbs said brusquely before again looking at Tony's desk. He felt Ziva move closer and appraise the area as well.

Ziva noticed the missing items and quickly caught on to Gibbs' worry. She tentatively spoke, "I am sure he is alright Gibbs. He will come in twenty minutes late as usual and quickly explain to us in detail why this was left here."

Gibbs had started to shake his head before she even finished, "Has Tony been late the past few months? And I mean on purpose," he added with a glare.

Ziva opened her mouth and shut it mutely. McGee entered the bull pen slowly, trying to hide the eyebrow raised in question. Gibbs and Ziva ignored him as he set folders on his desk and joined them at DiNozzo's desk.

"What are we looking at," he ventured. Looking about him confusedly, McGee didn't notice the glares he received after his question. "Wait…"

"Yeah," Gibbs strode over to his desk and laid the jacket over the arm of his chair. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Tony's number. He growled impatiently as Ziva and McGee waited for Tony to answer.

"Damn it DiNozzo!"

Gibbs slapped his phone shut as the other two agents ran to their desks both calling out they would call his home and cell again. The worry in their voices let Gibbs know they understood what it meant when Tony didn't answer his phone.

After they too hung up, Gibbs grabbed the keys and strode out of the bull pen, Ziva and McGee following him. The ride to Tony's apartment made Ziva and McGee nauseous but they continued after Gibbs into the building. They passed Tony's car that was pulled into the outside parking spaces, not the garage. Alarm finally leaked out of the eyes as they glanced at each other.

"Tony!"

Gibbs shouted his name before they finished exiting the elevator on his floor. They came to his door, Gibbs shouting again as he pulled out his keys again and unlocked Tony's door. As he went to unlock the deadbolt Gibbs felt the door give slightly, indicating it was not dead bolted.

"Tony," Ziva shouted as she whipped out her Sig and entered his apartment. After clearing the front rooms, she made her way to his bedroom with Gibbs and McGee trailing after her.

After finding the room empty, they all let their arms swing to their sides as they looked around the room. The room was practically bare, with a bed and bedside table and a poster of Sean Connery's James Bond hung on the wall.

McGee noticed the closet door slightly open and went to look inside. "Tony," he whispered as he swung the door wide enough for the others to see inside.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long and it's so short, but I couldn't decide if I wanted to continue after McGee found Tony. Let me know how I did! :)


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS.

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long, but I had some difficulties putting this together...

***

Gibbs and Ziva both drew in a deep breath. Tony was huddled in the back corner holding his Sig and eyes red and puffy. Tear tracks could be seen on his face and his body shook slightly. Tony hadn't even noticed them yet, still lost deep in memories.

"Tony," Gibbs said as he put his gun away. "Tony look at me. Put the gun down."

But Tony didn't respond. McGee and Ziva looked at each other shocked. They watched as Gibbs entered the closet and spoke Tony's name again,

"Tony. DiNozzo! Hey, I need you to snap out of this!"

Finally Tony looked up at them and whimpered, "G-Gibbs?"

McGee found himself edging away from Tony slightly; the normally jubilant, silly agent was now very real and troubled. He couldn't believe that the Tony he knew could be sitting in his closet, holding his gun, and crying. Feeling guilty McGee couldn't help but feel he would rather have found Tony shot or unconscious. Then he would be able to help Tony and know exactly what to do. Chancing a look at Ziva, McGee caught a rare moment of Ziva's mask ripped off.

She looked sadly at Tony, wondering what could have happened to make him reduced to hiding in his closet. Not fully realizing that the gun was not there to protect him, Ziva suddenly strode into the closet and knelt next to Tony, "Tony, we need you to tell us what happened."

Tony looked wide-eyed at Ziva, "What? I...," he shook his head as tears trickled down his face. He mumbled pulling away from her and Gibbs.

"Tony," Gibbs said sharply. Worry was starting to commandeer his facial expressions. He reached for Tony's gun slowly, speaking soothingly, "Listen Tony, I'm going to take your gun and-"

"What! Don't do that Gibbs I swear I'll be better," Tony shouted alarmed. "I know I should've come in and told you, but I couldn't! I'll take whatever punishment! I'll even double it; I can take whatever you give me! Just don't take my gun and badge boss!"

Stunned the three other agents pulled back slightly. Noticing, Tony stood up and pulled a suit from behind him,

"Look boss, I'm coming," Tony kept looking at them wide-eyed as he made his way to his bathroom discarding the clothes he was wearing. They could hear him continue to mumble to himself as he brushed his teeth and pulled his fresh clothes on.

"Tony," Ziva leaned against his bathroom door. Tony looked at her through the mirror as he washed his face. Suddenly he grinned,

"Hey sweet cheeks! Wondered when you'd come tearing into my apartment!"

Gibbs' mouth twitched at the innuendo, but he could tell that Tony was already wavering again. McGee searched the room for an explanation of his partner's scary behavior but he couldn't see anything unusual. That is except the fact that his room was pretty impersonal and clear. Except for the poster it seemed that Tony's room was in fact a hotel room.

But as Ziva admonished Tony for his blatant sexual implication, McGee realized that maybe Tony kept it that way on purpose. Impersonal and easy to leave, except for the signed poster over his bed. Tony brushed past him and walked towards his kitchen.

"You see how _impersonal_ this place is Ziva," McGee whispered to Ziva. "I mean except for the wide-screen TV and hundreds of movies," he added as they walked through his sparse living room.

Ziva nodded, pursing her lips together tightly. "Mossad agents would keep apartments like this."

"Tony's not Mossad. And, well, he's Tony."

"You sure you don't want anything boss," Tony pleaded. He was pulling out a cereal bar and bottled water, expectantly waiting for Gibbs to say something. Tony fidgeted, constantly starting to move away but pulling himself back.

"No DiNozzo," Gibbs crossed his arms. "You gonna explain?"

Tony had turned around and once he heard Gibbs' question he dropped everything and stood still. A tremble ran through his body and he clenched his teeth together, causing a tick in his jaw. A moment later, Gibbs watched as Tony tried to pull himself together and create a believable excuse.

"Explain what boss? That I had a minor breakdown but now am ready for work?"

Gibbs raised his eyebrow, waiting. The excuse, Gibbs thought, was partially true. Somehow he had to figure out what caused Tony to 'breakdown.' Tony was still facing away from Gibbs, but McGee and Ziva could see his face from the dining room. With his eyes closed he sighed letting his shoulders slump forward. Ziva shifted beside McGee.

"Yeah I know boss. Lame excuse," Tony's voice came out soft. "I…"

Ziva made to move towards Tony and after a second of hesitation, she moved closer to him, not speaking but rested her hand on Tony's shoulder. A flinch caused her to retract her hand with a hurt expression on her face before a mask of indifference was placed.

McGee's eyes narrowed as he swept his gaze from Tony to Ziva. But he saw Tony already shaking his head.

"No, you guys…deserve to know," Tony sighed warily and dragged his hand over his face. He moved out of his kitchen and treaded into his dining room. He glanced at McGee before pulling out a chair and sank down upon it. He gestured towards everyone to make themselves at home.

Gibbs moved closer coming to a stop and leaning up against the wall opposite Tony. Ziva stayed back watching. McGee waited a moment before prompting,

"Tony?"

Tony looked up from where he was tracing a pattern on his table to McGee. There he saw Tony hesitate before whispering,

"Don't become like me McGee. Promise me."

McGee's mouth dropped open, "Uh, sure Tony."

"No! Promise me McGee," Tony shouted. "Don't lock yourself up! Don't hide yourself until all you are is walls and locks and fear!"

"I, I promise Tony," McGee faltered.

"Make sure McGee! I don't want you to end up anything like me. Don't act like anything but yourself McGee. Don't let anyone scare you into hiding, especially me," Tony stared hard at McGee, but the maniacal look in them gave McGee a sense of fear than reassurance.

Gibbs frowned, not liking the implications Tony was making about himself, "DiNozzo, what the hell are you talking about?"

But Tony shook his head, "Nothing boss. Just look after Probie, you too Ziva."

He nodded his head towards Ziva, who scowled.

"What. You cannot anymore," Ziva crossed her arms over her chest, angry.

Tony stared at her and attempted to smile, "Not anymore Zi-va."

"What do you mean by that," Ziva asked.

A/N: I know it's not quite as dramatic, but Tony is trying to pull it all in right now. Soon we'll see him (unfortunately) fall completely apart in front of the others. Let me know how I did! :) Thanks for all the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS

***

Silence filled the apartment after Ziva's question. Suddenly Tony stood up and walked to his living room. Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva followed him tentatively. When Tony opened a cabinet under the coffee table and pulled out a box Gibbs stirred uneasy. Whatever it was in that box had to be important to Tony.

Tony looked up at them ashamed before flipping the top off. The three all stretched their necks to look in. But all they saw were papers, envelopes, pictures. A sound came from Tony half-way between a choke and a sob.

But at that moment Gibbs' cell phone rang. Flipping it open he answered,

"Gibbs."

McGee and Ziva both were eyeing the box critically as Gibbs shut the phone with a snap,

"Let's go! We've got a body," Gibbs walked towards the front door. But before they exited, he held up his hand stopping Tony from leaving, "Not you DiNozzo. Stay here."

Tony opened his mouth as Gibbs shut the door behind him, leaving Tony standing alone in his apartment. And then Tony walked back to the box and pulled out various papers. Swallowing hard, Tony started sorting through them.

McGee glanced nervously at Gibbs as they processed the scene. He wasn't comfortable with leaving Tony alone after finding him that morning. Somehow McGee felt that in leaving Tony, it made the situation worse. But McGee valued his life, and his job, so he stayed quiet as Gibbs barked his way through preliminary investigations.

"Where is dear Anthony," Doctor Mallard questioned as soon as he and Palmer arrived. He watched Ziva tilt her head before answering,

"He is at home Ducky."

"Why on earth would Anthony be at home," Ducky persisted as he crouched by the body. He pointed at something on the victim's arm to Palmer before taking the liver probe and puncturing the skin.

"Because I told him to stay there," Gibbs said as he strode to the medical examiner. "What do you got Duck?"

"You told him? Gracious me Jethro-"

"Duck. The case."

Ducky frowned before turning to Palmer, "Liver temp says he died between four and six hours ago. Mister Palmer?"

"Ah, well my first guess is strangulation. Ligature marks on his neck make me believe it was most likely someone's hands wrapped around the neck."

Palmer put his hands close to the victim's neck showing the similarity in pattern of the bruising to his hand.

"Very good Mister Palmer," Ducky nodded.

"Thank you Doctor Mallard," Palmer grinned as he stood to get the gurney.

Gibbs nodded and moved away from Ducky and the body, "MahGee! What did the first on scene say."

McGee answered, "He said that the woman who found the body was running through the park when he was discovered. When he arrived the body wasn't moved or touched, except by him to find ID. As soon as he saw the military ID he called us in and proceeded to scout the area out."

"Ziva?"

"I did not find anything to indicate motive nor a struggle. I do not think he was killed here. And I found car keys but no car."

"Jethro," Ducky said lowly as Gibbs moved towards the car.

"What Ducky," Gibbs hoped, but didn't expect, that Ducky was going to talk about the victim.

Ducky sighed, "Why is Anthony at home?"

Gibbs shot Ducky a warning look, "How about we talk about this later Duck?"

Ducky shook his head and sighed, "Alright Jethro. But I intend to find out!"

Gibbs nodded before calling out, "Let's go!"

Abby bounced in her lab as music pounded through the sound system. After getting a call from Gibbs about the new case she spent the time clearing up the lab to ready for the influx of evidence. She grinned and bobbed her head as the vibrations rolled through her body.

"Abs!"

Abby spun around, "Hey McGee! Ziva! Got evidence for me!"

Both agents nodded and set it before her. Abby knew immediately something was wrong and shut off her music.

"What happened," she demanded. Both McGee and Ziva glanced at each other before Ziva started,

"It seems something is wrong with Tony and-"

"What! Is he in the hospital? Sick?"

McGee shook his head, "No. He's…he's at home. Something weird happened."

Abby perked up, "You mean like he was abducted or something?"

The two shook their heads before Ziva continued, "No. He," she hesitated before rushing on; "he seems to have had a sort of crash down."

"Breakdown," McGee corrected absentmindedly. Abby cocked her head and scrunched up her face.

"Tony doesn't have breakdowns."

"It seems he does," Ziva said. "Gibbs told him to stay home."

Abby's eyes widened, "Told him to stay home? Why would he do that? If Tony did indeed breakdown he would need someone with him at all times! And Gibbs _told_ him to stay at home?"

Ziva and McGee didn't meet her glare, prompting Abby to snatch a piece of evidence and stomp to the computer. When she didn't say anything more they left the basement and made their way to the bull pen.

The rest of the afternoon they worked quietly, both periodically glancing over at Tony's empty desk. Director Vance visited them asking if Tony was going to be better tomorrow. Concluding Gibbs told him that Tony was sick, Ziva told him that she hoped so. Director Vance nodded and said he hoped so too.

"Ah, Jethro. I wondered when you would show up."

Palmer looked up and moved out of autopsy saying, "I'm going to go find something to eat Doctor Mallard. I didn't eat lunch."

Ducky nodded as Palmer hurried out, "He didn't you know. So he could have an excuse when you showed up."

Gibbs stared at Ducky, who in turn was staring at him. With a sigh Gibbs spoke,

"We found DiNozzo in his closet this morning."

"Oh dear," Ducky's face filled with sadness and understanding. "I wondered when this was going to happen. And you told him to stay home?"

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Ducky accusing tone, "What do you mean 'when this was going to happen' Duck?"

"Well," Ducky bristled, "Anthony was abused as a child and had many horrific events take place in his life. Not all in the years we have known him, I might add. His personality shows that he was damaged in the early stages of his life and whenever things, as they say, 'pile up' he reverts back to this stage. In fact that is why he acts juvenile most of the time…

"It reminds me of a case I had in Sussex in 1963, but that's another story for another time," Ducky sternly looked at Gibbs. "He needs people, Jethro. Attention, specifically affection, but I think young Anthony has succumbed to the belief that attention is the only thing he is capable of recieving. And so, he does any and everything to get attention. Good or bad."

"What do you think I could do Duck," Gibbs growled. Ducky appraised him before deciding Gibbs' anger came from his concern over his agent. And from the reminder of the not so pleasant past Tony had experienced.

Ducky spoke slowly, "I think we can't really do anything for him Jethro. Except help Anthony pick himself back up after this all blows over."

A/N: So I was on a roll and finished another chapter. Let me know ho I did! :)


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS

***

Silence filled the apartment after Ziva's question. Suddenly Tony stood up and walked to his living room. Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva followed him tentatively. When Tony opened a cabinet under the coffee table and pulled out a box Gibbs stirred uneasy. Whatever it was in that box had to be important to Tony.

Tony looked up at them ashamed before flipping the top off. The three all stretched their necks to look in. But all they saw were papers, envelopes, pictures. A sound came from Tony half-way between a choke and a sob.

But at that moment Gibbs' cell phone rang. Flipping it open he answered,

"Gibbs."

McGee and Ziva both were eyeing the box critically as Gibbs shut the phone with a snap,

"Let's go! We've got a body," Gibbs walked towards the front door. But before they exited, he held up his hand stopping Tony from leaving, "Not you DiNozzo. Stay here."

Tony opened his mouth as Gibbs shut the door behind him, leaving Tony standing alone in his apartment. And then Tony walked back to the box and pulled out various papers. Swallowing hard, Tony and started sorting through them.

McGee glanced nervously at Gibbs as they processed the scene. He wasn't comfortable with leaving Tony alone after finding him that morning. Somehow McGee felt that in leaving Tony, it made the situation worse. But McGee valued his life, and his job, so he stayed quiet as Gibbs barked his way through preliminary investigations.

"Where is dear Anthony," Doctor Mallard questioned as soon as he and Palmer arrived. He watched Ziva tilt her head before answering,

"He is at home Ducky."

"Why on earth would Anthony be at home," Ducky persisted as he crouched by the body. He pointed at something on the victim's arm to Palmer before taking the liver probe and puncturing the skin.

"Because I told him to stay there," Gibbs said as he strode to the medical examiner. "What do you got Duck?"

"You told him? Gracious me Jethro-"

"Duck. The case."

Ducky frowned before turning to Palmer, "Liver temp says he died between four and six hours ago. Mister Palmer?"

"Ah, well my first guess is strangulation. Ligature marks on his neck make me believe it was most likely someone's hands wrapped around the neck."

Palmer put his hands close to the victim's neck showing the similarity in pattern of the bruising to his hand.

"Very good Mister Palmer," Ducky nodded.

"Thank you Doctor Mallard," Palmer grinned as he stood to get the gurney.

Gibbs nodded and moved away from Ducky and the body, "McGee what did the first on scene say."

McGee answered, "He said that the woman who found the body was running through the park when he was discovered. When he arrived the body wasn't moved or touched, except by him to find ID. As soon as he saw the military ID he called us in and proceeded to scout the area out."

"Ziva?"

"I did not find anything to indicate motive nor a struggle. I do not think he was killed here. And I found car keys but no car."

"Jethro," Ducky said lowly as Gibbs moved towards the car.

"What Ducky," Gibbs hoped, but didn't expect, that Ducky was going to talk about the victim.

Ducky sighed, "Why is Anthony at home?"

Gibbs shot Ducky a warning look, "How about we talk about this later Duck?"

Ducky shook his head and sighed, "Alright Jethro. But I intend to find out!"

Gibbs nodded before calling out, "Let's go!"

Abby bounced in her lab as music pounded through the sound system. After getting a call from Gibbs about the new case she spent the time clearing up the lab to ready for the influx of evidence. She grinned and bobbed her head as the vibrations rolled through her body.

"Abs!"

Abby spun around, "Hey McGee! Ziva! Got evidence for me!"

Both agents nodded and set it before her. Abby knew immediately something was wrong and shut off her music.

"What happened," she demanded. Both McGee and Ziva glanced at each other before Ziva started,

"It seems something is wrong with Tony and-"

"What! Is he in the hospital? Sick?"

McGee shook his head, "No. He's…he's at home. Something weird happened."

Abby perked up, "You mean like he was abducted or something?"

Again the two shook their heads before Ziva continued, "No. He," she hesitated before rushing on; "he seems to have had a sort of crash down."

"Breakdown," McGee corrected absentmindedly. Abby cocked her head and scrunched up her face.

"Tony doesn't have breakdowns."

"It seems he does," Ziva said. "Gibbs told him to stay home."

Abby's eyes widened, "Told him to stay home? Why would he do that? If Tony did indeed breakdown he would need someone with him at all times! And Gibbs _told_ him to stay at home?"

Ziva and McGee didn't meet her glare, prompting Abby to snatch a piece of evidence and stomp to the computer. When she didn't say anything more they left the basement and made their way to the bull pen.

The rest of the afternoon they worked quietly, both periodically glancing over at Tony's empty desk. Director Vance visited them asking if Tony was going to be better tomorrow. Concluding Gibbs told him that Tony was sick, Ziva told him that she hoped so. Director Vance nodded and said he hoped so too.

"Ah, Jethro. I wondered when you would show up."

Palmer looked up and moved out of autopsy saying, "I'm going to go find something to eat Doctor Mallard. I didn't eat lunch."

Ducky nodded as Palmer hurried out, "He didn't you know. So he could have an excuse when you showed up."

Gibbs stared at Ducky, who in turn was staring at him. With a sigh Gibbs spoke,

"We found DiNozzo in his closet this morning."

"Oh dear," Ducky's face filled with sadness and understanding. "I wondered when this was going to happen. And you told him to stay home?"

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Ducky accusing tone, "What do you mean 'when this was going to happen' Duck?"

"Well," Ducky bristled, "Anthony was abused as a child and had many horrific events take place in his life. Not all in the years we have known him, I might add. His personality shows that he was damaged in the early stages of his life and whenever things, as they say, 'pile up' he reverts back to this stage. In fact that is why he acts juvenile most of the time…

"It reminds me of a case I had in Sussex in 1963, but that's another story for another time," Ducky sternly looked at Gibbs. "He needs people, Jethro. Attention, specifically affection, but I think young Anthony has succumbed to the belief that attention is the only thing he is capable of getting. And so, he does any and everything to get attention. Good or bad."

"What do you think I could do Duck," Gibbs growled. Ducky appraised him before deciding Gibbs' anger came from his concern over his agent. And from the reminder of the not so pleasant past Tony had experienced.

Ducky spoke slowly, "I think we can't really do anything for him Jethro. Except help Anthony pick himself back up after this all blows over."

Abby glared at Gibbs and turned to face the computer screen, effectively turning her back on Gibbs and the Caf-Pow. She was determined to get her point across and Tony was worth the sacrifice.

"Abs," Gibbs sighed.

"No Gibbs," Abby started typing. "How could you abandon Tony? At his most dire time of need?"

Abby turned her head and pleaded that he would give her an answer.

Gibbs set the Caf-Pow down, "He shouldn't come in if he's unstable."

"Unstable Gibbs? You make him sound like he's crazy!"

"He is!"

Abby's mouth dropped in shock. Staring at him, she conveyed her absolute disbelief that Gibbs could say something like that. Gibbs scowled darkly.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded Abby."

"How could you Gibbs? When he needs you most…. Tony's been through hell Gibbs. So much more than you or I could handle," Abby cocked her head as she spoke, eyes filling with tears.

"I know," Gibbs said quietly. "I do. But there was nothing I could do for him in so short amount time."

"You could've taken a minute to explain that you weren't abandoning him," Abby said resolutely.

Gibbs blinked.

"Abandoning him?"

"Yeah Gibbs, like his dad did."

Gibbs shook his head, "I'll go over and check on him."

Abby nodded her head and turned away from him, "Good. I'm still disappointed in you, though."

Gibbs sighed again before leaving. When he strode into the bull pen moments later he stopped and watched his two agents work silently. He immediately noticed the emptiness and lack of ease. McGee sat working at his computer too stiffly and very obviously upset. Ziva, on the other side of the bull pen, was trying too hard to keep the air of indifference, which was often replaced by a moment of looking at Tony's desk expectantly and swiftly slumping in disappointment.

The two obviously were dependant on Tony's presence and their previous perception of him. Now that they saw another dark side to him, they would undoubtedly be forever reminded of his mortality and their quick judgment. Gibbs had thought that after realizing Tony was in love with Jeanne, the two would see that Tony was a man with secrets and weaknesses. And they did, for awhile. But all too quickly the affair with Jenny sent them in opposite directions. And when they returned to each other the teammates clung to the masks each had built.

Sighing, Gibbs marched into the bull pen and barked, "What've you got!"

The two agents reported what they found out without preamble or insight. They threw ideas out, but none of them sat well with Gibbs. Ziva glanced back at Tony's desk and said,

"I bet Tony would see something from one of his movies."

That was when Gibbs figured they realized that Tony's insight was crucial to the team's dynamics. Without him they deflated.

"Alright," Gibbs said as he grabbed his keys and coffee, "let's go sort out DiNozzo."

Ziva quickly went to her desk to grab her things, but McGee stood unsure.

"Um, boss? Are you sure all of us should…," McGee stuttered to a halt when both Gibbs and Ziva glared at him. "I just wasn't sure he would want all of us to be there."

"We're a team MahGee," Gibbs stated. "We take care of our own."

McGee nodded then and proceeded to his desk. Ziva was already waiting impatiently by the elevator as McGee and Gibbs strode over. After glaring at the two Ziva hit the call button a third time with excessive force. Gibbs mentally sighed hoping the three of them could fix DiNozzo, or else the three of them may need help.

As they approached Tony's apartment, they all slowed down prolonging the time before they would see what Tony was doing. All Ziva could think was he better not be watching a movie, but then she quickly changed her mind. If he was watching a movie it wasn't as bad as she had been imagining all day.

Without knowing they all held their breath as Gibbs hit the door once before unlocking it with his keys.

"Tony," he called. He let his eyes sweep the apartment as Ziva and McGee followed him in. This time though the three catalogued what they saw. The kitchen was clean except for the bottled water and cereal bar that lay on the floor. Troubled Ziva surged forward to the dining room seeing the chair pulled out as it was when Tony had sat there. Next she swept into the living room where the box still sat on the table, but now papers and pictures had been taken out a placed about the room.

"Tony," she called again as she headed into his bedroom. She passed a picture of the team with Kate and a picture of the team with her in the hallway.

"Tony," she called again. "Do not make me call your name again or so help you…"

She heard a sniff and searched the room. Tony looked up at her from the floor next to the toilet. Quickly she called Gibbs and sank to her knees.

"Watch out," Tony slurred. "Don' get puke on your cargos."

Gibbs showed up and hissed, "You okay DiNozzo? You look like hell."

McGee inwardly rolled his eyes at Gibbs' brusque manner. But he had a point, Tony did look like hell. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, shadows formed under and in his eyes, and his normally immaculate clothing was rumpled and out of place.

Tony winced at Gibbs' tone and pulled himself up unsteadily, "By the way, no I haven't been drinkin'. Don' have anything left."

He shuddered and started crawling pass them into his bedroom.

"Tony would you like help," Ziva asked.

Tony started laughing heavily. He continued crawling until he made it to his bedside table, laughing uncontrollably. Ziva stood and followed him angrily, about to say something until Tony grunted in pain as he pulled himself up.

"Help," Tony said contemptuously and shook his head disbelievingly. "Yeah, oh."

He groaned as he pulled out a knee brace from the table drawer. McGee looked surprised when he saw the contents of the drawer. Tony saw him and snarled,

"What? Did you think I would have porn in there? Condoms? Sorry to disappoint Probie. Just knee braces, back braces, back-up weapons, and my medley of prescription medicines."

"Don't get mad at McGee," Gibbs said calmly. "What medication do you need?"

Tony closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, "The bottle with the red sticker."

Gibbs perused the drawer before picking out the right one and handing it to Tony. He popped of the top and dry swallowed a couple pills, eyes still closed. Ziva returned from the kitchen with an ice pack and pulled Tony up. McGee quickly took his other shoulder and they dragged him into the living room.

"Don't bother guys," Tony said through clenched teeth. "It gets worse when you try to help."

Ziva snorted as she wrapped his knee, "Usually when you help an injury it gets better Tony."

Tony shook his head as she placed the ice pack on his knee. Resting his head on the back of the couch, he mumbled,

"Wasn't what I was talking about."

"Then what were you talking about," Gibbs questioned.

Tony snarled again, "Don't treat me like one of your suspects Gibbs. Leave me alone. You know where the door is."

McGee opened his mouth in shock and he could see the same expression on Ziva and Gibbs' faces. Never before had he heard DiNozzo openly defiant to Gibbs. Maybe to others but never to Gibbs. A flicker of something passed over Gibbs face making McGee even more confused.

A/N: I really am on a roll today. Anyway, I'm not sure where I want to go with this next, but I do know how it ends. Let me know how I did! :)


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS...

***

Gibbs watched as Tony glanced about the room worriedly. He, too, glanced around. All he saw was papers, some laid on the TV stand, others under the coffee table and some stacked in a pile on the couch near Tony. Noticing Tony's ill-ease, Gibbs wondered what the papers could be that had Tony so worked up. He saw Ziva and McGee's still astounded faces.

But it wasn't until Tony started to pick up the papers and stack them on top of each other that Gibbs took action.

"Ziva, McGee get some dinner. Tony put some clean clothes on, you're making the room smell of vomit," Gibbs ordered as he moved into DiNozzo's kitchen.

It obviously the wrong thing to do as Tony abruptly stood and growled, a more primal sound then any Gibbs ever heard. His entire face transformed from irritation to rage, and as he spoke he spit in barely controlled fury.

"This is my house, I will not allow you to barge in and start ordering me around again! I left you; it's not your right!"

A brief pause as Tony started moving towards him, "Get. Out. Don't try to intimidate me again."

Tony continued moving forward as though to shepard them out. McGee scampered from the room and made it to the door without once turning his back on Tony. Even Ziva seemed frightened. But Gibbs was reeling from the amount of animosity directed towards him from DiNozzo.

"I'm still your boss, DiNozzo, I can and will," Gibbs decided to continue to act as though he normally would. "That is if you keep your job."

As soon as he said those words, he cringed inwardly remembering Tony's reaction earlier that day. But instead of fear crossing Tony's face, a maniacal look blossomed. The three agents watched in horror as Tony transformed, eyes wild, body taunt, mouth curled in a snarl.

The next thing Gibbs comprehended was Tony almost foaming at the mouth as he shouted and waved his arms and made his way to them. Ziva tensed ready to defend herself, knowing that she might have to hurt Tony if he tried to harm her or the other two. Suddenly Tony slammed his front door shut and she realized Tony had succeeded in herding them into the hallway. Looking around she realized she was not the only one confused at their position.

"Jesus," Gibbs tugged his hand through his hair. "How the hell did we end up here?"

"Gibbs?"

They turned to see Abby standing further down the hallway, her face covered with the multiple emotions flowing through her. She stood holding Bert and a Caff-Pow in one arm and a huge bag in the other.

"Was that Tony?"

Gibbs was wondering that too, "Yeah Abs. That was Tony."

Abby's eyes filled with tears, "But Gibbs…. I never _imagined. _What did they do to him?"

Gibbs shook his head, "Something awful Abs. Something unimaginable."

The group stood outside Tony's apartment listening as tore his apartment apart, yelling, and crying. Many times one or more of them would automatically move towards the door before hesitating and resume their previous guard positions. Gibbs called Ducky asking him to make his way there, and after some time both he and Palmer arrived.

After seeing the surprise on Gibbs, Ziva, and McGee's faces, Ducky spoke,

"Who would he have talked to that didn't make references to Jethro during his--leave?"

He shook his head rather morosely as Jimmy Palmer shifted self-consciously. Abby burst out,

"You mean he didn't talk to me because I had Gibbs' pictures on my screens? And because I would always say that Gibbs was coming back? I never meant that Tony wasn't, should've, I don't know!'

Gibbs put his arm around Abby and murmured in her ear. She shook her head as McGee spoke quietly,

"And Ziva and I never, we kept comparing him," McGee look ashamed. Ziva set her jaw and refused to speak.

"Yes, and I, I'm afraid," Ducky nodded his head at himself, "I was not as supportive as I should have been. I was too angry at Jethro's leaving to see the effects the whole affair had on Anthony."

A loud crash that sounded much like a television breaking broke in their conversation. They all cast glances at the closed door.

"But not to make it all Jethro's fault," Ducky continued, "I'm sure we all remember instances that at the time may not have seemed so bad."

"You want us to feel guilty Duck," Gibbs glared at Ducky. But Ducky only returned a blank look before settling himself against the hall wall.

Some time passed before Ziva cocked her head and said, "He's stopped."

They all in turn moved their heads to better listen to any sounds that might emit from the apartment. But Ziva was correct, the apartment had gone eerily quiet. Looking at each other they all converged on the door.

"Umm, Agent Gibbs," Palmer started hesitantly. "I-I think I should go in first. He, er, he trusts me. I think."

Gibbs looked over at Palmer and deliberated for a moment before giving an almost imperceptive nod. Palmer moved forward hitting the door before immediately entering the apartment. A moment of silence before,

"Agent Gibbs he's not here!"

***

A/N: It's a little short but I'm going to update later again today. It just felt like a natural break in the story. Tell me how I did! :)


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS...

***

They all searched the apartment and wound up on the small porch that was outside his bedroom.

"This is the only place he could have left from," Palmer said.

"He must have climbed onto the neighbor's porch and jumped to the fire escape from there," Ziva stated. The others all judged the distances, Palmer giving a shudder as he looked down realizing how far they were from the ground. A mistake, which he knew Tony wouldn't make even in the most dismal situations, could cause him to fall multiple stories, and, in effect, kill him.

"Why would he do that," Abby cried out.

Ziva ignored the question and started to climb onto the neighbor's porch, determined to follow Tony. She also ignored Gibbs' command to stay where she was, calling over her shoulder,

"I am going to find Tony."

Deftly swinging onto the fire escape, she didn't hear anyone follow her, but it didn't stop her. Ziva was used to solo missions, they didn't bother her-she had been on many them. But this mission was more personal than any of the others and she was determined to find her partner. As she landed on the ground she swiveled her head in hopes of finding something to lead her towards her missing friend. Noticing nothing she looked up to see the directions he could have gone. Finding herself with three different choices, Ziva squinted as she put herself in Tony's state of mind.

"Which way would you have gone Tony," she asked herself quietly. And as if receiving an answer she headed left, jogging to gain lost time.

As she passed a liquor store, Ziva quickly diverted and headed in. Remembering Tony saying he had run out of alcohol she quickly scanned the store. Disappointed she headed back out and went in search of him. A block ahead of her she saw an Italian store and quickened her pace. He had many comforts, one of them being Italian company, people or food. The bell rang over her head as she stepped in, the front room was empty but hearing voices she continued forward.

Looking around, Ziva saw pictures on the walls and searched for a familiar face among them. Smiling when she saw the handsome face jovially grinning at her, Ziva treaded towards the area curtained off.

"Antonio. I don't know," an older woman spoke.

"Don't worry about me nonna," Tony's voice pleaded. "Just…this once please don't disapprove? How many times do I actually come here to buy grappa?"

Ziva peeked through the curtain and saw Tony holding two bottles of a clear beverage with a pleading look on his face. The woman looked at him like a grandmother would to her grandchild. For a moment it looked like she would shake her head and scold Tony, but decided not to.

"Enough times for me to know this is bad," she took the bottles from him to bag. "The last time you came for two bottles of grappa was when that woman died."

Tony seemed to physically shrink when she said that. Ziva padded up to him and pulled another bottle off the shelf and added it to the others. A moment of confusion crossed the grandmotherly face, but Tony barely reacted to Ziva's sudden presence.

"Figured you'd be the one to find me," he said resignedly. He pulled out his wallet and passed a card to the older woman. "They still in my apartment?"

"Yes. We can go to mine if you wish," Ziva said. She faced Tony and pointedly looked at his hands before quirking her eyebrow.

Tony chuckled humorlessly, "Wouldn't you know, when you slam your hand into a wall, it breaks?"

Nonna clucked before saying, "Antonio."

Ziva glanced at the woman, who gave her the bag as she spoke, "You take care of mio caro."

"Ovviamente," Ziva told her seriously. "You do not need to worry."

Tony turned his head away from her as the nonna smiled and patted Ziva's arm. With a nod Tony and Ziva exited the shop and started walking. Tony remained silent and Ziva allowed him to.

"If I go home they won't be as pissed," Tony began. "But I don't think I can. I want them to be angry. It's their turn."

Ziva didn't turn to look at him, "You think I am not angry? Because I am."

"I know you are. But you're easier to handle than the others," Tony said.

"Oh really."

"I mean what I get from you is what I get from you," Tony clarified slowing his gait. "You won't try to make me all better, you won't coddle me, treat me like glass."

"Cuddle," Ziva finally looked at him perplexed.

Tony smiled a bit, but not totally reaching his eyes, "No _cod_dle. You know, indulge. Over-protect. Coddle."

"Oh," Ziva nodded. "You should not be treated that way. You are strong, yes? And it is an insult to treat a grown man like a child."

Ziva slowed as they came upon Tony's apartment building. Tony had already fallen behind her. Finally they stopped near Tony's car. Without looking at each other, they both headed to the car doors. Tony tossed Ziva the keys and warned her,

"I'm only letting you drive because I think right now I'd actually be more dangerous behind the wheel than you. Don't wreck my car!"

Ziva grinned widely, "Who me?"

Tony shook his head as he pushed the seat belt off his neck. Looking a little apologetic, he patted the dashboard of his car as Ziva revved the engine and squealed out of the parking space.

When they pulled into Ziva's apartment, she was concerned about the lack of shouts of warning and fear. Especially since it was his car, his prized possession. But he got out the car with little complaint, awkwardly tapping the top in apology. She tossed him his keys back, hoping he realized by doing so she trusted him enough to give him control. On the way up to her place Ziva sent a quick text to Gibbs, hoping that he wouldn't barge his way over and set off another round of instability in Tony.

"You know where the glasses are," Ziva called as she headed to her room to change. "Unless we each have a bottle and do away with the extra steps, yes?"

"Yes," Tony kicked off his shoes and headed to the sofa. Flipping on the CD player, he ran his fingers over the collection of CD's before picking one out. As the music filled the room, he started to ebb. All the tension and anger and fear started to be replaced with fatigue.

Ziva returned changed into casual clothes and grabbed a bottle off the table. Sitting next to Tony she lifted her bottle in toast to him. Returning her gesture they both a long swig from the bottle.

A/N: Again a natural break in the storyline, so I'm adding the next part in the next few minutes. Let me know how I did! :)


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS

And by the way, grappa is an Italian alcoholic drink made from grapes (go figure) and I don't own that either...

***

Gibbs scowled at the text he received from Ziva. _Tony is with me._ With you where? The others held their breath in anticipation as they waited for the news.

"Ziva's got Tony," he finally said. They all relaxed and Abby cheered.

"That means they are coming back right," she said hoping she could hug Tony back to health.

"Oh, I doubt that," Ducky remarked as he, Palmer, and McGee resumed picking up all of Tony's DVD's. The three had decided that cleaning up the mess would keep their minds busy. Gibbs and Abby resolved to pace the apartment in impatience.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I doubt Tony will want to be confronted by all of us."

Abby stopped clomping around and said hurt, "You mean he doesn't want us to help him? That's so wrong! Why does Ziva get to help him and we don't?"

"I think Ducky means that Tony would feel threatened by the amount of people, not the actual people Abby," Palmer stated as he looked interestedly at the cover of a movie.

"But why Ziva?"

McGee sent her a sympathetic look, "Ziva found him. And knowing Tony, she's a better drinking partner than any of us."

"They better not be drinking," Gibbs growled. McGee open and shut his mouth unsure of what to say. Deciding to stay silent he remembered the box from earlier and went to open the cabinet. He jiggled it again, but realized Tony must have locked it.

"Huh."

"What," Abby pounced as if anything could give her a clue to help Tony. McGee shook his head at her and she deflated.

Ducky noticed Abby's helplessness and put a hand on her shoulder, "You must remember Anthony grew up alone, depending solely on himself. He wouldn't know how to deal with so many people who truly care for him. It's as though we are a reminder of his lonely past."

Abby nodded, and whispered, "I just can't understand how he would rather be alone with his pain than lean on us."

McGee spoke up again, "I think that may be Ducky's point, Abs."

Gibbs harrumphed. He watched as the others all looked at him as though he of all people should understand Tony. He thought so too, he was, after all, Tony's official next of kin, because the bastard of a father couldn't care less, and mentor. He remembered the times when Tony needed supervision as he healed, and the nightmares that plagued the recuperating man. Once, Tony woke up when he had a concussion and acted as though he was a young child, cowering from Gibbs as though he was going to hurt Tony. It had taken an hour before Tony settled down and went back to sleep. Luckily, he didn't remember the episode in the morning. Shaking his head, Gibbs spoke,

"We should get some sleep before work in the morning. We still have a murder to solve."

The others all reluctantly followed Gibbs out Tony's apartment. As they drove back to the Navy Yard, Gibbs told McGee that he better come in with leads or not bother coming in at all. McGee swallowed and nodded, telling himself that Gibbs was worried about Tony and wouldn't really fire him. Not entirely assured he went home flip flopping between the case and Tony.

***

Ziva moaned as her alarm clock woke her up. Reaching out she slapped in the general direction. A grunt that didn't come from her and she realized as she opened an eye, she had hit Tony. He shifted next to her and slapped the snooze button on her alarm clock. Trying to ignore the pounding headache she knew came from drinking her way through a bottle and a half of grappa, Ziva carefully rose.

"Running Zi-va," Tony's gravelly voice asked muffled through one of her pillows. "Crazy…"

Ziva was inclined to agree, but knew if she didn't at least run half her normal route, she would not function as well.

"Yes. Want to join me," she smirked waiting for a 'hell no'. Instead as she picked out running wear she heard rustling from her bed and a thump on the floor. Turning around Ziva chuckled as Tony raised himself up from the floor and blearily blinked at her. Not exactly certain how they went to bed last night, or this morning, it was interesting to see Tony in his boxers.

Already realizing Tony was looking at her lack of pants and the long t-shirt she wore that she had stolen from him years ago, she moved to her bathroom.

"Aspirin in the same place," Tony called as he padded to her kitchen.

"Yes. I will bring it out," Ziva called. She finished dressing and opened her medicine cabinet and took a bottle. Moving into her bedroom in search of her tennis shoes, she winced at the hammering in her head. A morning of being hung-over was fine by her, though, if it meant helping Tony.

"Here's water," Tony said as he re-entered her room. He pulled on some jogging pants from her bottom drawer and put on his tennis shoes. "You know I'm glad I decided to crash at your place that time. Means I don't have to go home before work today."

Ziva smiled at him and tossed him the bottle. Catching the bottle Tony awarded her with a smile that was starting to enter his eyes. He looked at his t-shirt for a moment before pulling it on. They moved in tandem as they exited the building and stretched before finally taking off.

"We will only go six miles today, I think," Ziva said.

Tony clasped his hands together saying, "My head and knee thank you."

As Tony showered, Ziva pulled out her gun and cleaned it as she went over the situation in her head. She was unsure if Gibbs was going to let Tony stay at work, but was already putting an argument together in his defense. She was certain it do more harm if Tony wasn't doing something. And that way she could watch over him.

Listening to Tony sing lowly an Italian lullaby, Ziva caught herself humming along. Shaking her head, and then wincing slightly, Ziva hoped that this would resolve whatever it was that seemed to be getting in between them. Now that she learned a few things about what was bothering Tony, thanks to both of their inebriation, Ziva debated if she should tell Gibbs.

"Ow, okay I gotta say getting wasted was definitely cathartic," Tony was buttoning his shirt as he headed her way.

Letting her eyes wander over his chest in appreciation, Ziva waited for him to continue.

"Do you think Gibbs'll let me work?"

And there it was- the big question.

"I hope so Tony," Ziva answered honestly as they exited her apartment for the second time that morning. She hesitated before barreling through her next question, "Will you be okay Tony?"

Tony tensed before forcing himself to relax and say almost lackadaisically, "I've always recovered."

Ziva glared at his deflection, "Do not try to fake your way through whatever this is. You can trust me."

The car ride to work was silent until they stopped at the gate in front of the Navy Yard. Then Tony spoke,

"I don't think I will be."

Ziva glanced at him briefly as he clenched the wheel tighter and continued, "The last time this happened it was bad. Real bad. But all I had to come back from was a slight addiction to alcohol and wallowing in self-pity."

Feeling uncomfortable Ziva caught onto the fact that this had happened before, "How many times has this happened?"

Tony sent her a wry smile, "All the details or the quick fact sheet?"

Ziva stared at Tony contemplating, "How about the quick facts now and the details while I make you dinner tonight?"

"Dinner, huh? Look forward to it. Twice before."

Nodding Ziva strode through the parking garage with Tony keeping pace. When they entered the bull pen they saw Gibbs' coffee on his desk. After giving Tony a reassuring glance, Ziva turned on her computer and made it seem like she already onto the next task. In fact she was going over the things she learned that night before and that morning.

A/N: Getting there guys, but I've already started the next chapter so it should be soon. Let me know how I did! :)


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS...

***

"DiNozzo, David!"

"Morning Gibbs," Ziva said. "I may have a lead. Petty Officer Kilgannon injured his uncle when he was young. The uncle, George Kilgannon, had been trying to physically assault his wife and Kilgannon took his uncle's gun and shot him. He lived but I think given the uncle's behavior…"

At that moment McGee rushed in, "Boss! I was just in Abby's lab when the fingerprints came back as George Kilgannon, the victim's-"

"Uncle. Yeah, let's go," Gibbs interrupted.

McGee stopped short and gaped at Gibbs briefly before turning around and following Gibbs to the elevator. He glanced warily at Tony as he stopped next to him. Tony, he surmised, had indeed drank last night and was doing marginally better at controlling himself, so far. As though realizing that McGee was thinking about him, Tony turned his head and stared at McGee. Determined to keep his gaze forward McGee wished the elevator would hurry up.

Gibbs kept an eye on Tony throughout the ordeal with Kilgannon. As they came to the house and were met with open hostility, all the way through when they arrested him for attacking McGee, and when they finally got him to confess in interrogation. Now as they sat at their desks filling out paper work, Gibbs watched as Tony pushed through the physical pain of his swollen knuckles.

"DiNozzo! Get Ducky to check out that hand," Gibbs didn't even look up but he could tell Tony was sending him a scowl. Waiting for the 'it's fine boss, I don't need to,' he was surprised when Tony got up without complaint. Surprised enough to look up from his own paperwork. He watched as Tony made his way out of the bull pen.

"Yes I think that would be the logical conclusion Abby dear," Ducky was saying into the room as Palmer was cleaning the tables. "Ah Tony, what brings you down here? Oh."

Tony showed Ducky his hand embarrassed, "I'm sure you already saw the dent in the wall, Ducky."

"TONY! Oh my gosh! I'm on my way," Abby cried from the tiny speaker.

Chuckling Palmer moved next to Tony, "Hey Tony. Better?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded. "So did you watch the movie like I told you?"

Palmer grinned, "Yes, it was amazing Tony. 'No hard feelings, mister. The hell there ain't' I love John Wayne! 'I thought you were dead-"

"'Not hardly' Yeah great movie," Tony smiled at Palmer. "Last number one box office for John Wayne. _Big Jake,_ 1971," then adopting an impersonation of the Duke, he quoted, "'You can call me Dad, you can call me Father, you can call me Jacob and you can call me Jake. You can call me a dirty old son-of-a-bitch, but if you EVER call me Daddy again, I'll finish this fight.'"

Ducky chuckled, "Very good movie. I remember when that first came out. For some reason, I went to see it, don't remember why. Not that I regret it, but I wasn't in America at the time, was I? Hmm."

"TONY!"

Abby ran full tilt into Tony causing him to fall backwards as she hit him arms already around his shoulders. After a second, she let go of him and hit his shoulder. He winced and sent Abby a reproving look.

"Don't you dare scare me like that again, mister! I brought Bert over and you upped and left."

Tony watched Abby as she continued to babble before Ducky calmed her down a bit.

"I'm sorry Tony. But you really worried me," Abby said as she leaned next to him. "Let me know next time okay? I'm always here for you."

Tony nodded, "Thanks Abby, I know. I'm sorry I worried you."

Abby grinned and pushed herself upright, "No worries! I've got to head back to my lab, but call me? Maybe we'll go clubbing tomorrow night. You guys don't have weekend shift right? You aren't on call are you?"

Tony shook his head 'no' as Abby bounded out of the lab without waiting for the answer. Ducky and Palmer chuckled and went back to working.

"Thanks Ducky," Tony said as he jumped off one of the tables and made his way out as well. "I appreciate it. And Palmer? Watch _Donovan's Reef_ next. 1963. John Wayne, Lee Marvin. Great movie."

"Alright," Palmer said as Tony waved and left. "Do you think he's going to be okay Doctor Mallard?"

"Hmm, yes. But not for awhile."

"Agent DiNozzo. I trust you are feeling better," Director Vance asked when he joined Tony in the elevator.

Tony nodded, "Gibbs tell you I was sick?"

"Yes," Director Vance looked hard at Tony and noticed there was a lot more than just being sick. "You're not looking so well. Good thing today wasn't too hard. Paperwork now."

"Yes. Should be fine," Tony nodded to the director as he got off at the bull pen. "Good afternoon director."

"You as well Agent DiNozzo."

Gibbs looked up as he heard Tony speak to the director. Luckily, it seemed the director had gotten over most of his aversion to Tony's attitude. That came from, Gibbs speculated, the past few months where Tony had been on a downward spiral. Blinking, Gibbs realized that Tony was actually giving them hints the entire time he was falling into this breakdown. Tony's whole demeanor had been deteriorating and he had not even noticed it.

Thinking back, Gibbs couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact start of the problem, but he did remember the last time Tony was actually whole-heartedly happy for a long period of time. And that was before the Jeanne Benoit incident. Not that he hadn't been happy after she left him, but it wasn't exactly the DiNozzo spark. He mentally disciplined Jenny before realizing it was as much his fault as hers. As Ducky pointed out, he had dumped everything on Tony before leaving-abandoning him for Mexico.

As the end of the day approached he watched as his team each looked at their watches repeatedly. Smirking he waited another half-hour before sending them on their way.

"Go home!"

He smiled slightly at the sighs of relief. "DiNozzo! We need to talk!"

Gibbs watched as Tony and Ziva exchanged looks before DiNozzo nodded at her and waited for McGee and her to leave. He settled on the edge of his desk and nodded again as Ziva said something to him. He gave McGee a 'Back atcha' as McGee wished him a good night. The second the elevator doors closed Gibbs watched as Tony tensed and positioned himself in a way that reminded him of an animal backed into the corner and desperately trying to find a way out.

Another disclaimer: I don't own those movies ( I wish I did) and I don't own John Wayne. Kind of hard, considering.

A/N: Yep, I'm a Duke fan. And they are great movies. Anywho, just to let you know, the next couple chapters are Tony and Gibbs chatting, Tony and Ziva trying to sort out his problem, and wait for it... Tony. Let me know how I did! :)


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS...

***

Tony looked like he was about to bolt. Gibbs knew he had to diffuse this as quickly as possible, because Tony was starting to get the crazy look in his eyes.

"You're not here for me to question you Tony," Gibbs started. He kept his distance wondering if he got too close, Tony would run and hide. "I just need you to tell me you're okay."

"I'm fine," Tony automatically responded. He had the perfect poker face when things were bad, and considering the fact that Gibbs couldn't tell if he was lying or not, it was worse. So Gibbs waited a moment, hoping that Tony would start to crumble.

However, Gibbs didn't account for the fact that Tony had been working on his poker face since he was barely ten years old. Tony's best friend was his mask, as well as the ability to keep in on through every ordeal. Sighing, Gibbs decided to let Tony see how much this was affecting him. He knew immediately when Tony noticed, because the stiff posture tripled, and he briefly wondered if Tony could break his back being that tense.

"Tony," he started.

"No. I'm fine Gibbs," Tony insisted. "It'll pass over and I'll be back to normal."

Gibbs wished he could say, 'I believe you,' but he knew Tony was never going to be the same. Like every time someone Tony cared for left him, like every time his faith was shaken, this was going to change him for the worse. And it would take awhile for him to recover. Shaking his head to dispel memories of Kate and Paula's deaths and Jeanne and himself abandoning the agent, Gibbs looked away from Tony.

"I don't think so Tony. Just know that I may screw up some things between us, but I'll always have your six."

"I doubt that," Tony said bitterly.

"Look DiNozzo, I know I messed up with the Mexico debacle and I know I have to earn your trust again after Agent Lee. I also know that you have been trying to keep your head above the water for some time, and you're getting tired."

"Listen I know I went swimming in the Potomac but that was what two years ago? Really," Tony was damn good at poker.

"Cut the crap Tony," Gibbs went to him on the back of the head, but his wrist was caught mid-swing. Confused, Gibbs blinked.

"Don't. You dare," Tony breathed. He was gripping Gibbs wrist very hard and glaring. But the glare was misplaced. Instead of glaring at him, Gibbs felt as though he was being glared through. Through, perhaps, to a memory of his father.

"I'm sorry."

Tony pulled his head back sharply and released Gibbs' wrist, "What?"

"I'm sorry Tony," Gibbs said it a little louder to prove his point.

"Nuh-uh. No way Gibbs. You don't get to play that card with me," Tony took a step back from Gibbs and continued, "You really want to get into all this? How about we do it somewhere away from here."

It didn't come out as a question or a request. Gibbs nodded, "Fine. Meet you at my place."

And as he drove home, Gibbs watched as Tony's Mustang weaved in and out of traffic and pulled away from him. Hoping to find it parked in front of his house, Gibbs turned the corner and breathed. So Tony didn't get himself killed. But this next part, that was the real worry.

"Alright Gibbs, here is how it is," Tony started the moment Gibbs made it to the top of the basement.

Tony was seated on the table, legs swinging. Gibbs would have found it rather childlike if it weren't for the fact that Tony's face was no-nonsense.

"You don't get to play the 'I'm sorry' crap on me because we both know that everything you did, you would do again. And if at the time you didn't feel remorseful, then you sure as hell wouldn't let yourself now," Tony twitched.

"And I actually find it insulting that you think all the bullshit you put me through was worth it at the time but now that I'm going insane, you're suddenly repentant of all the wrongs you did."

Gibbs watched silently as Tony's flinch worsened. It's not like he could say Tony was wrong, about the general picture at least. He just hoped this would be a therapeutic release and not a trigger to a more unstable realm.

"Damn, it's coming back. But just to let you know, there are some things I want to tell you while I'm sober so I can't feel stupid tomorrow. When you left, yeah that hurt. You dumped everything on a 'you'll do.' 'You're the best I got.' But when you came back like that, it was disrespectful. But obviously if you had let me know and allowed me to move my stuff back myself, that wouldn't make quite a big impression on Probie and Ziva that you were back and the boss again.

"And when I jumped in the Potomac Gibbs! No thank you. Did you notice I went to the hospital that weekend? That's why I wasn't at work on Monday? Yeah, you did, but was it your fault I jumped in after you and an innocent little girl? Noo.

"And I really did like him Gibbs. He said things I understood. He said I was the only person who treated him right…"

Gibbs realized he let his confusion show when Tony threw his hands up and shouted,

"Jeffrey White! I would've ended up like him you know, if my friend hadn't helped me out after college."

Gibbs shook his head, "No Tony-"

"I'm not finished!"

The flinch was getting worse and Tony put his hand to the back of his neck trying to stop it. Realizing the flinch had to have come from trying to dodge his father; Gibbs tried to keep his face impassive. Tony never could take pity, unless he controlled the circumstances.

"But Gibbs what really hurt was you lying to me. To the team. I thought we were f- I thought we could trust each other. I'm sick of inter-department secrets and games!"

Tony flinched so hard that the table shook, "Damn!"

Breathing heavily, Tony rubbed at his neck ruefully. Gibbs tilted his head,

"You're right Tony. I shouldn't apologize for things that I don't regret. But I do regret some things," Gibbs nodded at Tony's startled face. "I was crass dealing with you after I came back. When you saved me and Maddie, I was embarrassed. I broke my own rules and you had to save the day. And all at the expense of your health. Then, I was feeling guilty. And I am sorry that the situation with Agent Lee led you to think I didn't trust you. I'm not sorry I didn't let you in on it. But I am sorry it turned out the way it did for you."

Gibbs paused, and inclined his head as Tony twitched again, "But I have a feeling that all of this is only part of your problem."

Tony flinched again and shrugged, "It does that each time this happens."

Gibbs said in disbelief, "How many times does this happen?"

"When things get to be too much," Tony shrugged again. "It's only happened twice before."

"And this is because of what happened when you were young," Gibbs prompted.

Tony glanced up at him sharply, "Let's not get into that Gibbs."

"You won't be able to move on," Gibbs started.

"Right," Tony said sarcastically and pointed at the boat. "Yeah."

"Tony," Gibbs had no idea where to go from here.

"Look Gibbs," Tony hopped off the table. "Let's just wipe the slate clean and start rebuilding. The demons of my past and yours don't need to intermingle."

"You need to talk to someone," Gibbs growled.

"I know. But I'll figure it out. Can't tell Abs, she wouldn't be able to handle it and then she would try to smother me with love. McGee, well, I doubt very much he would actually want to know too much about me. That's why I got Ducky and Palmer," Tony said as he made his way out of the house.

"And Ziva?"

Tony smiled briefly, though it still was filled with sadness, "She's a good drinking partner."

"And," Gibbs couldn't believe he was going to say this, but, "She understands you."

As he opened his car door, Tony nodded. Gibbs was still uncomfortable with this whole thing, and as though he knew, Tony said,

"Boss, there isn't anything anyone can do for me. Things were broken inside of me a long time ago. But all of you help put new things in, if that makes sense."

Gibbs nodded and turned back into the house, a little relieved. Still, things were going to be hard for the team until Tony made it through this. And, Gibbs thought determinedly, with his new family he was going to make it just fine.

A/N: Okay so this one was interesting. I didn't want to bring up too many things, because Tony really let most of those things slide. These were the ones that really bothered me. Anyway, there is still a lot to go through, but tell me if you want to see something specific. Let me know how I did! :)


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER:I do not own NCIS

***

Ziva moved from the counter to the oven, checking on the meal she was cooking. After running a critical eye over it she turned back to the counter and looked angrily at her cell phone. Almost immediately someone knocked on her door.

"Tony," Ziva opened the door and gestured him in. After quickly giving him an once-over she spoke, "Dinner will be ready soon. I figured we should stay away from the tequila in my freezer. I have wine or water."

Tony nodded as he saw the table wasn't set. He moved into the kitchen and opened one of the cabinets before saying,

"He told me he was sorry. About Mexico, Lee. Not visiting me after the river incident."

Ziva spun around, "Gibbs did?"

Tony chuckled, "I told him not to."

"Good," Ziva sounded irritated. "Saying he was sorry when you are like this?"

She shook her head and grabbed a couple glasses from her sink, "If he was sorry, he should have told you then. Now it does not make anyone except him feel better."

Tony looked at her speculatively, "Someone do that to you recently? It sounds like you are particularly bitter."

Ziva glared at him, "Yes. My father, he told me that he was sorry he did not watch me dance."

Tony nodded and swept out of the kitchen to put the plates and silverware on the table. He saw that Ziva had cleaned up after he supposed they messed up her living room. Considering the amount of alcohol they both consumed, he was surprised at how intact the room was.

Ziva entered the dining area with their dinner and noticed his gaze. Smiling mysteriously, she triumphantly set down the dish.

"It was not that messy," she said as Tony made a face of utter contentment as he filled both their plates. They sat eating in silence before Ziva straightened suddenly,

"Tony, will you tell me about the other times?"

Tony swallowed his bite before nodding, "The first time was when I was fourteen. My father had already disinherited me, sent me off to military school, and blamed me for my mother's death. What set me off was the fact that he forgot me _again_ at a hotel."

Ziva listened as Tony told his story rather expressionlessly. His face was curiously blank, hiding from her things she could only speculate.

"It took me a couple weeks to get over it. Luckily it was three weeks before he sent someone to get me."

A disgruntled growl made him look up at her and grin, "It is nothing to grin over Tony. That is unacceptable."

"I know, but it's the only way I can deal with it," Tony's confession was more gut-wrenching then the story he had just finished telling. Ziva paused before questioning,

"And the second time?"

Tony shook himself a little, "Happened after I graduated Ohio State. Nastier than the first one. My leg had been broken, you remember. Brad Pitt. Well, the fiancé ditched me and I was in a hell of a slump.

"But," Tony continued, "That passed and I became a cop. Best thing that happened to me. Actually both times something pretty good came out it. The first time I started to really to live, break out of the fear. And the second time I became a cop. Which lead me here."

"My apartment," Ziva said knowingly.

"Gibbs told me I needed to talk to someone. You're the only one who would still treat me the same after my little sob story."

He stood and brought his plate into the kitchen. Tony listened as Ziva followed him. Without speaking they washed her dishes and made their way onto the couch.

"It is not a little sob story," Ziva started. "Yes? It is a big deal Tony. Things like that stay with us forever. I understand that. You do not have to tell me everything."

She stared at him as he sat next to her, remembering dark times. He slowly nodded but did not look at her. Minutes passed as Tony's face was reflective of the memories that slipped through his thoughts. Finally, he turned his head to look at her. He smiled.

"Wanna repeat last night? And I mean the going to bed."

Ziva narrowed her eyes, "I may not remember how we went to bed, but I think it is safe to say that it would be not as fun tonight."

Chuckling, Tony settled back into the cushions and patted the space next to him. Ziva shifted closer to him,

"We have not done this in a long time, my hairy butt."

"No, sweet cheeks, but I think we are finally going to work through it," Tony said contentedly. But a picture flashed through his mind and he stiffened slightly.

"What is it," Ziva asked as her arm came to rest pressing against his.

"Ah, don't worry about it."

Ziva bumped his shoulder and looked at him appraisingly; Tony had finally relaxed and really smiled before something happened. Not getting a response she dug her elbow into his side and held it there.

"Ow! It's not! Okay! Okay! Just ease up a little," Tony ran his hand nervously down his shirt sleeve. "I thought I didn't have to tell you everything."

A moment before, "Okay! It's just, lady problems. Not as big of a deal. Unless she finds out I love her and she doesn't love me. And even if she does…"

Ziva shifted, not comfortable with the thought that Tony was interested in another woman. "If she does what?"

"I could get fired. Or reassigned."

It came out as a mumble and Ziva's eyes widened as she turned to face him.

***

McGee walked into work the next morning thankful that it was Friday. That meant, barring the possibility they get called on a case, he would be able to sleep in tomorrow morning. As he passed DiNozzo's empty desk he told himself that truthfully he was glad he wouldn't have to be faced with Tony's problems.

As he booted up his computer, McGee felt guilty over his lack of sensitivity towards Tony's situation. He had, though at the time rather annoyingly, helped McGee through the time he had killed the cop. It took him hours after Tony finally left to go to work to realize that Tony was making sure that McGee was alright.

He checked his e-mails as Ziva threw her stuff behind her desk, already grumbling about the morning. Hiding his amusement at her apparent disgruntled attitude, McGee remembered another time Tony had done something for him, again without him noticing it. Tony gave him an attitude. Downright entertained by the fact, McGee resolved he would do something for Tony.

A smile grew on his face when he decided what he was going to do.

"What's got Probie all excited?"

McGee looked up at Tony with a confident look on his face, "I'm just really glad it's Friday."

Tony raised an eyebrow and slung his backpack behind his desk before sitting on the edge of McGee's desk.

"Ohh, Probie got a date?"

"Meaning do I have plans tonight," McGee really liked the idea that he could keep up with Tony. "Yes, I do."

Knowing that would keep Tony interested for most of the morning, McGee turned his attention back on his computer screen.

"Really, did you hear that Zi-va? Probie's got big plans!"

Ziva sauntered over to McGee's desk and sent him an interested look, "That is not too surprising. McGee is... a good man."

Tony sent Ziva look McGee could only describe as a warning to not continue that train of thought. Chuckling again, McGee felt really good. Tony may be going through a bad time, but McGee finally realized how much he meant to Tony and was determined to be there for his partner.

"Whatcha' doing McPlans?"

"I'm not saying," McGee said before smiling sweetly at Tony. Ziva nudged Tony and they both hurried back to their desks as Gibbs came into his field of vision.

"Cold cases today," Gibbs plopped a stack on Tony's desk before sitting at his.

Tony sorted through the stack before splitting it into three. Handing two stacks to Ziva and him, Tony gave McGee a 'we'll continue this later' look. The remainder of the day they worked over cold cases, and every time Gibbs left for coffee Tony would resume his questioning. It closed in on the end of the day and Tony grumbled,

"How is it that McGeek has plans?"

Smirking, Ziva answered, "Maybe because McGee has a certain charm that you do not."

Making a face Tony turned to his computer and quietly threw a paper ball at her. McGee watched amused as Ziva jerked back and reached for her knife. Before she touched it, though, Gibbs breezed in the bull pen and told them to leave. They promptly gathered their things and hurried to the elevator.

"Tony! You wanna go with me and McGee to that bar we went to a couple months ago," Abby chirped as the elevator opened.

Giving McGee a glance, Tony answered, "Yeah Abs. Coming Zi-va?"

"Oh, Ziva was already going to come, Tony! So were you," Abby rushed on to say. "Even if you said no, all three of us would drag you out anyway!"

A/N: Let me know how I did! :)


	12. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS

***

The next morning, McGee knocked on Tony's apartment door nervously. Hoping Tony wouldn't make this awkward; he shifted and moved the object from his right hand to his left. Frowning, he knocked a little louder. It was early enough for Tony to still be in bed, especially after the long night they had. But Tony didn't answer his door, worried McGee took out his cell phone. He knew Tony went home alone last night because they all stumbled into the same cab, first dropping off Ziva, then Tony.

After hitting call, McGee looked up and down the hallway. Noting nothing and Tony not answering his phone, he called Abby.

"Timmy," Abby whined. "Ya know how killer of a headache I have?"

"Yeah Abs I know," McGee smirked. "Hey listen, don't worry or anything, but where would Tony go on a Saturday morning?"

Abby sounded a little more alert when she answered, "He's not home? Hmm, well Tony would be at work, or the theater by his place that does all the marathons and special showings and-"

"Abs."

"Oh sorry! Or he would go to the Italian place nearby."

McGee finished talking to her and checked the theater and Italian place before making his way to the Naval Yard. He was slightly surprised when he found Tony sitting at his desk, calmly typing.

"Morning Probie," Tony said stifling a yawn. "What are you doing here?"

" What are you doing here," McGee retorted.

Tony shrugged, "Working. What does it look like?"

McGee felt his eyebrows slide upwards, "Why?"

Tony looked at him a moment before, "Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stay in the apartment. Getting a bad feeling about the place, might have to move soon."

McGee looked at Tony contemplating before raising the object, "Thought you'd like this."

Looking surprised Tony took and unrolled it. Tony's eyes lit up as he recognized the poster and autograph.

"Wow! This is awesome! Where'd you get it McGee?"

McGee shrugged and grinned. Tony looked back at the poster and grinned elatedly.

"O thought that you'd like it," McGee put his hands in his pockets proudly. "I know your birthday is coming up, and since somehow, each year we are unable to celebrate it properly…. I just wanted to make sure that you actually got your birthday present this year."

He finished rather sheepishly, but Tony rewarded him with a grin and a,

"Aww Probie! I didn't know you cared!"

"I don't!"

Chuckling slightly, "Your words say no but your eyes say yes!"

McGee narrowed his eyes and glared lightly at Tony. Sobering, Tony continued,

"Thanks McGee. I appreciate it. Hey! How about we go watch the Indiana Jones Saga at the theater by my place? It starts at noon; we still have time to get the best seats in the house?"

McGee nodded slowly, "Sure Tony. Just don't quote the entire time!"

"Can't make any promises Probie!"

McGee had never really spent an afternoon with Tony before, at least outside of working a case or avoiding Gibbs. But McGee figured it wouldn't be too different, because Tony is pretty predictable. He was right for the most part. However now he knew Tony wasn't just predictable, he was merely a creature of habit.

"Really Tony," McGee said exasperatedly. "I heard you the first four times."

Tony grinned and responded, "'But Junior!'"

McGee rolled his eyes, "Alright fine. I'm going to head home."

"But Probie! It's still early," Tony exclaimed looking at McGee as though he were crazy to go home before midnight.

"I'm still recovering from last night Tony."

"Ahh alright. See you later McNight!"

McGee waved as Tony and he separated, walking in two directions. Tony walked with his hands in his pocket to his apartment building as McGee kept an eye on him as long as he could. Once he felt satisfied that Ton was in the building he drove off, finally at ease with Tony since the beginning of his ordeal.

***

As Abby stretched before her night of bowling with the nuns, she decided to give Tony a call. Smiling as the ring tone filled her ear, she chirped,

"Tony!"

"Hey Abs! Thought tonight was bowling? Or is that tomorrow," Tony's voice came through the phone a little muffled.

"Nah, tonight. But I just wanted to check on you. And McGee, because I think he was trying to find you this morning, but since I had a MOAH, a mother of all hangovers, this morning, and actually still do, but that's not too big of a deal, but I think McGee was-huh. Tony! You're supposed to stop me before I lose myself!"

Chuckling Tony answered, "But then it's not nearly as much fun listening to you. And yes, Probie came to see me today."

A pause as Abby switched the cell phone to her other ear and continued stretching. Not elaborating, Abby glared at Tony's name on the screen,

"Well are you going to tell me?"

\Almost hearing Tony's smile, she heard him say, "Nope. But just know that he won't want to watch Harrison Ford for awhile."

"You went to the marathon with Timmy? That's sweet Tony," Abby grinned as Sister Rosita came striding over.

"Let's get this going Abby! We're competing against the fathers from St. Michael's tonight," Sister Rosita rolled back her sleeves and grinned.

"Right-o Sister! Sorry Tony gotta go! I love you," Abby listened to his reply before hanging up. Grinning wider she turned to Sister Rosita,

"I think his going to be fine Sister!"

Sister Rosita patted her arm, "I prayed for him. Now! Let's show those fathers what we sisters are capable of!"

"Don't worry Sister," Sister Hannah called out. "This time we're going to whip them!"

After laughing at Sister Rosita's quasi-stern glance to Sister Hannah, Abby started humming as she pulled out her bowling ball.

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long! First it was finals week, then writer's block, then getting sick! Anyway I'll try to put the next few up quickly. And the finale is next week...I'm nervous!


	13. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS

***

Ziva frowned as Tony didn't answer his phone again. After the last time he didn't answer, Ziva went from slight concern to full on worry. Deciding to drive over to his apartment, she quickly ran out of her apartment and drove to his place.

Alarm coursed through her body as she saw that the door had been knocked down and left open. Quietly, she whipped out her gun and cautiously made her way into Tony's apartment. Her heart slammed double-time when she saw the blood that was smeared on the wall and soaking in the carpet.

Flipping around when she heard a shuffle, she found herself face to face with a huge man with a broken nose. He angrily swiped at her, growling. The blow knocked her back and she dropped her gun.

"Hey boss! Some chick's here!"

Gritting her teeth she ducked and hit him in the kidneys. A groan and then she kicked him in the back of his knees, sending him to the ground. With her hands around his neck she pulled until he fell unconscious, only after awarding her with a broken nose of her own a severely bruised right forearm.

"Hey!"

Whipping around she pulled up her Sig Saur from the ground and aimed at the voice. A burly man stepped into view. He giggled when he caught sight of her gun.

"Boss, I think she thinks she's a super-spy or somthin'! Check this out."

Ziva scowled and shouted, "What are you doing here?"

Distracted by the force of the question the man stopped smiling, "Oh. Are we some disgruntled ex-girlfriend? You should be helping us. We're doing you a favor!"

"I am not a disgruntled ex-girlfriend," Ziva snarled as another man came from the hall leading to Tony's bedroom, he too with the marks of a fight. "Now tell me what you are doing here!"

"Ohh, she's feisty boss!"

"Shut up Vince," the older man said as he stepped into view. He gave Ziva a studied glance before saying, "Just letting Tony know, that no matter how well he thinks he's doing-he's not! Whatever he did to piss off his daddy must have been one helluva bitch!"

Then he smiled, "Goodnight, girlie!"

Leaping forward at the veiled warning, she was glancingly hit by a picture frame. Twisting she shot at the man behind her and somersaulted away from the other two men. As she regained a vertical position, Vince punched her.

***

Groggily, Ziva opened her eyes. Gibbs was leaning over her looking into her eyes. Slightly put off at the closeness between them, Ziva groaned.

"Ziva," he said. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Paramedics are on their way boss," McGee's voice filtered through the fog.

Squinting, Ziva tried to sit up, but an outstretched arm kept her down,

"Don't try to sit up," Gibbs said calmly. "Now can you tell us what happened?"

Ziva shook her head to clear the fog and winced, "It feels like I was hit by a bub."

Silence, "You mean bus Ziva," McGee's voice was closer than before.

Ziva threw her hands up in surrender, "Yes! A bus. Or perhaps a hammer?"

She chanced moving her head to see McGee. No confusion on his face reassured her metaphor. Suddenly, she remembered what had happened before she woke up to Gibbs' disconcertingly close position.

"I remember Gibbs."

After a nod from Gibbs, she continued, "I came to check on Tony. He was late for lunch and he did not answer his phone when I called. So I came here. The door was already broken down and there was blood-"

She faltered a bit before she put back her guard wall, "There were three men. Two were in Tony's bedroom when I came in. The other in the kitchen. We fought but they obviously..."

McGee looked away from her as she grew disgruntled, "Did you see Tony at all?"

Shaking her head at McGee's question, she said, "No. Where is he? Is he alright?"

A look crossed over both Gibbs and McGee's faces, alerting her.

"He is not okay."

"He's not here, Ziver," Gibbs said. If it weren't for the tick in his jaw, Ziva would have thought he was talking about the weather.

Alarmed, she tried to sit up again, "What! Where is he?"

"Calm down Ziva!"

***

A/N: I'm going to upload the next few chapters tonight in apology for the long wait. I'm so sorry!


	14. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS.

***

Tony could feel himself wake up, pulling out of the heaviness of sleep. Trying to open his eyes, Tony found out quickly that one was caked closed with blood. With the other eye, he looked around him. Dark room, size was hard to tell with no depth perception, and other than the chair he was sitting on, empty.

Tony tugged his hands trying to break free from the duct tape restraints, but was rewarded with ripping hairs and skin from his wrists. Hearing something from behind him, he strained his neck to turn.

"Ah, good morning Anthony," Tony recognized the voice as the leader of the men who came to his apartment. "I wondered how long you would stay asleep. But now, it does not matter."

"Well, you know me," Tony started. "Hello Carlo, still working for my father? You really must love your job if you put up with him."

He drew closer to Tony moving close into his ear, "I know exactly who you are, Anthony. I know every little thing. Your father? He trusts me, you know."

Tony furrowed his brows, "He doesn't trust anyone Carlo. No one. The stuff he tells you are probably just vague hints so each of you can pull your own conclusions and each personally hate me. It's easier to get you guys to do his will that way."

Carlo back handed him, his heavy ring connecting with Tony's jaw. Tony shook his head to clear the buzzing but wound up worsening the bells. The already dim room darkened a bit more briefly before his eyes cleared.

"Ha, you're getting better. Are you working out?"

"Shut up," Carlo growled. "What you say might be true-"

"Oh, it's true. Carlo, it's the gosh darn truth," Tony put as much sarcasm as he could into the line. Carlo was always easy to rattle and Tony loved to push him as far as he could.

"I said shut up! You," Carlo's temper simmered. "Anyway, just to let you know, we took you _this_ time for a reason. Just think about that."

Tony grimaced and nodded. He knew what happened after this, the bad guys always taunted right before they sent in the big guy with-

"Hello, Anthony."

Tony sighed, "Hello Vince. Where's Vaughn?"

Vince chuckled, "You always make me laugh Anthony. Rocco will be here shortly."

"Great," Tony said cheerfully, but inwardly his heart sank. It was going to be a long next few hours.

***

"Calm down, Miss David!"

"Officer! Officer David," Ziva snarled. "And when will you release me?"

The nurse glared at her and said shortly, "I can't release you until you stop moving and let me dress your wounds! And after that, if you would just sign the release forms, then I can finally get rid of you!"

McGee hid a grin at the spunk the older nurse showed to the assassin. He made sure that he turned a little more away from her just in case. Gibbs, he saw from the corner of his eye, was also holding back a Gibbs' grin. McGee was just about to turn back around when Gibbs crooked his finger. Puzzled, McGee followed Gibbs to the other side of the examination room.

"McGee," he whispered. "Did Ferguson's team-"

"Get all the evidence to Abby? Yes boss. She's already going through it, she'll call when she has something," McGee nodded as he spoke. Almost as soon as he finished his phone rang.

"That'll be her," Gibbs said shortly.

McGee didn't bother to check, he immediately opened and said, "What 'cha got Abs?"

"Aww, McGee that was so Gibbs. Is Ziva alright?"

McGee shifted his gaze to the woman in question, "Well, if I say Gibbs confiscated her knives, does that answer the question?"

Abby chuckled as Gibbs sent him a glare, "Yeah, McGee. So I got through the evidence, which wasn't a lot. Just multiple samples of blood…."

"Go on."

"Just a second McGee. Do you know how hard it was thinking I would have to find Tony's bloo-"

Gibbs was starting to get impatient, "McGee."

"Not now Abs. Just give me the facts," McGee said nervously. Either way, someone was going to be upset with him.

"Timmy! I can't believe-"

"Abby, I have to report to Gibbs. He needs the information now," McGee tried to mollify the perturbed forensic specialist.

"Oh," silence for a second before, "Okay, for Gibbs. Most of the blood in the kitchen area was a thug by the name of Rocco Lorenzo. Rap sheet as long as my arm. There was some blood that belonged to Tony. In the hallway, most of the blood came from Vincent Cappinciano and Carlo Orsi. Both wanted for connections to the Italian mafia. Even Italy wants them in jail. But, McGee all of the blood in his bedroom, it came from Tony. I saw the pictures McGee; it was a lot of blood."

He listened as Abby's voice went from calm to tearful, "I know Abby. But we'll find him. We always do. Or he finds us. You know Tony."

Abby sniffed, "But what if this time is all of his cat lives are spent up? What if he can't escape? We haven't always found him you know, he manages to escape or establish contact somehow without our help."

McGee watched warily as Ziva strode their way, "He'll be fine Abby. I have to go. I'll call you if we find anything, okay?"

"Okay, but promise me you will."

"I promise," McGee said sincerely and hung up. "Boss, we're looking for a Rocco Lorenzo, Vincent Cappinciano, and Carlo Orsi, wanted for connections with-"

"The Italian mafia," Gibbs finished. "It's his father."

Furiously, Gibbs turned and left the hospital, McGee and Ziva jogging behind him. McGee was shell-shocked, his face wide open. Ziva, on the other hand, was growling in Hebrew. Not wanting to know what she was saying McGee tried to dignifiedly run to the company car.

"What are we going to do, boss," McGee asked as he leaned forward from the backseat.

Gibbs squealed out of the hospital parking lot, shouting over his shoulder, "The bastard sent those men to deal with Tony."

"Why did they take him though," Ziva asked as she clutched at the door. McGee winced as his head made contact with the roof. He had been wondering something entirely different, but deciding that the answer wasn't worth the possibility of death; McGee placed his hands on either side of the back seat and watched as Gibbs drove them out of DC.

***

"Wake up."

Instantly, Tony awoke and blinked blearily. The room was still dark, but he knew exactly who had spoken to him. Needlessly, he asked though he knew there was only one person who held this much power and fear over him,

"Father?"

"If you weren't such a nuisance, you wouldn't have to be tied up like this Anthony," his father returned.

Tony rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Nice to see you to."

He felt the shift in his father's attitude before the backhand. Silenced, Tony remorsefully turned his head away from his father.

"Don't speak to me like that! I won't tolerate it," his father commanded. It brought back memories that Anthony had long locked away and hadn't let escape since he was younger. Slowly, he watched his father walk to his other side and cocked his head contemplative.

"You are starting to look old Anthony," Mister DiNozzo began. "But it seems you are just as obstinate as ever. Rocco had to get stitches. Using a knife seems rather… weak. But that does not surprise me at all."

Tony scowled before schooling his features, "You have no idea what a knife could do. It doesn't surprise me that you would shy away from something that is messy. And used in close contact. It never was your thing was it, dad?"

The rage that filled his father's eyes transported him back to the time he dropped the 115 year old scotch after his father had broken his arm. Cowering back as his father hit him repeatedly, Tony cursed himself for trying to stand up to his father. Never would he hesitate to stand up or mock his captors, because they never held any sort of leverage over his state of mind.

***

A/N: As promised, a few more chapters tonight.


	15. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS.

***

As Gibbs drove recklessly to Long Island, McGee and Ziva made several phone calls. After reassuring Abby, McGee called Vance and alerted him to the fact that his top team was UA in New York. Ziva called her contacts with the Italian mafia, who gave her very little about them. However, they did tell her that DiNozzo Enterprises can't be connected to the mafia, so the fact that they are connected in any way is coincidental.

"His father is unscrupulous," Gibbs explained. "He'll take any one that will do as he says."

He sent Ziva a brief glance as she asked, "I have never met Tony's father. What is he like McGee?"

"Uh, well, I haven't met him either. He doesn't visit," McGee's voice came out from behind Gibbs. Looking in the rearview mirror, he saw McGee on his laptop.

Turning to face McGee, Ziva questioned, "He did not come when Tony had the plague?"

"No. I'm not even entirely certain anyone told him. Gibbs' is Tony's next of kin. Medical next of kin," McGee rushed on to say, glancing nervously at the back of Gibbs' head. Next he viewed Ziva, who was looking at him with peculiarly.

Gibbs stayed silent as Ziva turned back around, "Then why would he send men to assault Tony?"

The question hung in the air as the three all contemplated what the answer could be, each thinking what could provoke a father into hurting his own son. The rest of the trip was completed in silence. As they pulled up the office building, each of them geared up for what most likely would end up very badly for someone.

McGee watched the other two threaten and connive their way past the first round of secretaries and guards. The next group was a little more difficult so he joined in on the cajoling. Finally, they made it to Mr. DiNozzo's personal secretary. Mr. DiNozzo was in, but not taking anyone, he was busy, she told them. Ziva frightened her into calling him, pleading that he would see them or get security. Smiling a little maliciously at her, McGee wondered what would happen if they even saw a security guard come near them. As it turns out the door to his office opened by a large man, recognizing him Ziva sprung onto him,

"Where is Tony?"

Gibbs and McGee instinctively rested their hands next to their guns. Coming up behind her, they listened as she spat out several questions as the big man glared at her fiercely. A voice came out from the room,

"Let them in!"

The guard stood aside as Ziva, Gibbs, and McGee whirled into the room. The ostentatiously large office could have housed their entire bull pen. Mister DiNozzo sat behind his desk, where if he but turned around, the city of New York was laid down as though at his feet. The image came to McGee's mind as Gibbs invaded the older DiNozzo's space.

"Where's Tony?"

A smirk from Mister DiNozzo set McGee on edge, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop Ziva from attacking the contemptible man.

"Agent Gibbs, you come all the way from Washington DC to ask me where Anthony is? Isn't he your agent?"

Gibbs pushed his face into Mister DiNozzo's, "You took him. Tell me where he is now."

"Or what," the leer on the older man's face was enough to make McGee sick. "I have no idea where my worthless son is."

The slight lingering of hatred on the word son set McGee off. Bristling, he planted his hands firmly down on the other side of DiNozzo's desk and snarled,

"You tell us where Tony is now you bastard! Ziva, question ugly over there. I'm sure he could tell us something!"

Gibbs' eyes flickered towards McGee before landing back on Mister DiNozzo. To his credit, the business man hid his discomfort fairly well.

"You need to work on your subordinates, Agent Gibbs. They seem to think they can act out of line."

Gibbs jerked his head to Ziva and nodded before looking back at Mister DiNozzo, saying dangerously quiet,

"My agents care for one another. So if they get a little upset when one is being held captive by his own father, they have the right to be disgusted. And perhaps, hard to control."

Ziva had stalked over to the burly man and creepily placed herself behind him. The man, whose broken nose looked little better than it did when Ziva first encountered him, shifted around trying to put Ziva in sight. She skirted around him so he went in a complete circle before stopping and swiping at her. McGee turned back to Mister DiNozzo as Ziva flipped the man onto his back,

"Boss."

Gibbs ignored McGee as he stood up straight and crossed his arms. Mister DiNozzo suddenly was seized by a fit of coughing. When they didn't end shortly, unease crawled onto McGee's face. The door opened behind them and the secretary came in. She briefly glanced at the occupants before handing Mister DiNozzo a glass of water and a couple pills. Swiftly, she exited the office.

"I'm dying Agent Gibbs, why would I want to see my son now?"

Gibbs was glad he had perfected the stony look, because right now he was feeling like he was going to rip through his own skin. Not only was Tony missing, but his dying father took him. And Gibbs knew it wasn't to reconcile before he dies, no, Mister DiNozzo is not one to ever feel remorse.

"I wouldn't even try to think the way you do," Gibbs said shortly. "Where is he?"

He spoke slowly, making sure he heard the intent in his quiet demand. McGee was next to him with an expression that Gibbs knew as fear that Tony's father was going to die right then before telling them where Tony was being held. He didn't look back, but he knew that Ziva held the Italian man to the ground, waiting for them to finish here.

When Mister DiNozzo didn't answer, Gibbs squinted at him and spoke,

"If you don't tell us, we'll just poke around until we find him. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how much trouble it causes. We are going to find him, no matter what."

He glared a beat longer, giving Mister DiNozzo one last chance before turning around striding out of the office. McGee and Ziva followed him out to their car. After buckling in, Gibbs floored it and took them out the business parking lot. A couple taxi cabs flicked him off as he weaved in and out of the traffic.

"What are we going to do now boss," McGee asked, angrily.

Gibbs looked in the rear view mirror and saw that McGee wasn't even tightening his seatbelt. A slight quirk of his eyebrow and Gibbs felt surprised at McGee's behavior. Not only did he lose his self-control in there, but he made the hardened business man nervous. Now he was so preoccupied that he wasn't even worried about them getting in a car wreck. With that, Gibbs slowed down to the speed limit and made a conscious effort to drive normally.

Ziva looked over at Gibbs when she felt the car slow. He was looking around him contemplative, every so often glancing at McGee. Finally, he answered McGee,

"We're going to find him."

"How," Ziva asked.

Gibbs turned down a street and parked in front of an apartment building. He got out and went to the door, talking over his shoulder,

"I know someone who owes me one. He'll tell us everything he knows. And McGee is going to use that laptop of his to research the entire city if we have to."

McGee gaped at the enormity of that task looking at Ziva like he might as well walk around the city asking for Tony DiNozzo. Gibbs had pulled out his cell phone and was talking quickly to whoever was on the other side. Snapping it shut he punched the elevator call button. They rode up to the fourth floor and walked to the end of the hallway.

"It's a good thing you caught me now," a man said from the open door on the right. "I just got off a thirty-one hour shift. About to turn in when you called, Gibbs."

"Thanks Mac," Gibbs grinned. "We'll be quick."

The man nodded and gestured them to come in.

"Take a seat, want anything?"

They all shook their heads as they spied a younger woman in the adjunct room. It looked like it had been the dining room but was turned into a bedroom. She walked out to them and smiled.

"Hello, I'm Ava, Mac's cousin," she said briskly. Turning to Mac, McGee spied a gun and two knives on her. He furrowed his brow, which Ava noticed when she turned back to them.

"Don't worry; I'm part of a new squad. Tactical Response Unit," she pulled out her badge. "Kind of like SWAT, except different."

Nodding, McGee looked expectantly at his boss. Gibbs waited until Mac came and sat next to him before leaning forward and saying,

"One of my men was kidnapped by his father yesterday. We need to know anywhere DiNozzo Enterprises might keep him."

Mac and Ava shared a glance before looking at Gibbs,

"Who is he?"

Gibbs responded, "Anthony DiNozzo."

A quick glance to his cousin caused Gibbs to ask, "What? Do you know him?"

"Yes," Mac said. "At least I know of him. A cold case dealing with the family from several years ago. My mentor's partner was obsessed with it."

The attention swung wholly onto Gibbs' friend. He nodded before continuing.

A/N: I totally made up Tactical Response Unit...


	16. Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS.

_Gibbs responded, "Anthony DiNozzo."_

_A quick glance to his cousin caused Gibbs to ask, "What? Do you know him?"_

_"Yes," Mac said. "At least I know of him. A cold case dealing with the family from several years ago. My mentor's partner was obsessed with it."_

_The attention swung wholly onto Gibbs' friend. He nodded before continuing._

"Mrs. Felicity DiNozzo was killed in a boating accident under mysterious circumstances. The husband, Angelo DiNozzo, wouldn't let the authorities look into it saying it was just an accident. The detective leading the case, the partner of my mentor, he thought something was going on with the son, Anthony DiNozzo. Abused, wouldn't say a thing…"

Mac shrugged, "He didn't think the kid killed his mother or even accidently killed his mother. But, something happened on that boat that didn't sit well with Bernie."

Ava clucked her tongue softly, "He was at Rhode Island Military Academy with me. We all knew something like that was going on."

"What do you mean," Gibbs said sharply.

Ava sighed, "He came back from summer break one time messed up. It took him months before he felt comfortable with us again. Had a nervous tick whenever someone was too close."

"Let me call in to work and get one of my people to pull together everything we know about the DiNozzo's," Mac said pulling his cell phone out. "Hey, Kendall, get some time to compile everything on DiNozzo Enterprises and Angelo DiNozzo. Thanks.

"I'll swing by on my way back from picking up dinner. Anything?"

The three told him whatever he got was fine with them before he nodded and left. Ava told them to get comfortable before sitting on the couch and pulling out a pack and unloading it.

"Is that your gear," Gibbs asked, looking at the stuff interestedly.

She nodded, "Yes. Sometimes I have to jump from one building to another. Got to make sure everything is in top condition or it's more than just my life that is taken. If you would like my rifle is over there. I know a Marine sniper when I see one. Go ahead and inspect it."

"You bring your rifle home with you," McGee blurted out.

Ava shrugged, "Hm. Once a week to take it apart thoroughly and clean every crevice, my daily swipe is pretty thorough but I prefer to spend a couple hours with it just to make sure."

McGee saw Gibbs nod praising her, before sticking his nose close to the handle. Restraining from rolling his eyes when he saw Ziva pull out her gun and begin to clean it, McGee grabbed the first book he saw and began reading.

When Mac came back, he had a small stack of files and a large bag of take out. They gathered around the table, each grabbing a carton of food and a file.

***

Angelo DiNozzo shuffled into the basement of his mansion, passing the racks of vintage wine; he made his way to the small room at the end. Pausing to take a sip of water before opening the door, he curled his fists.

Pushing the door, he watched as his son sat still and undefeated. Feeling the rage course through his veins, Angelo DiNozzo slammed the door shut. Anthony barely flinched.

"Hey," Tony said disapprovingly to whoever thought it was fun to slam a heavy metal door when he had the worst headache. Once his eyes adjusted he recognized his father, "Oh, well father what is it this time? Was I getting too happy? Because let me tell you I wasn't, in fact it was not going well at all."

"Be quiet," Angelo DiNozzo shouted. "You always spoke too much-"

He was cut off by Tony's laughter, "You think I talked too much back then? You have no idea how much I talk now! You know, to make up for being silent for the first half of my life."

"Quiet!"

"Why'd you take me this time," Tony brushed the command aside, he only had so much courage and he was going to use as much as he could before his father could slap it away from him.

Angelo DiNozzo scowled, "Don't you know what this week is, Anthony? This is the week that killed your mother. In fact today is the day you killed her, all those years ago."

Tony sat stunned. He knew what week it was, but he never expected his father to remember something about a wife he didn't truly love. A wife who didn't truly love him in return. And after all these years, Tony was shocked.

"You two never loved each other!"

A hand smacked into Tony's face, "We had an understanding! No one else was like her! And it's your fault she is gone."

Tony felt tears threaten to fill his eyes, "It wasn't me! She went running after her alcohol and fell over!"

"The alcohol which you hid under the bow seats!"

"I just wanted her to stop drinking and fish with me!"

"Unacceptable! You killed her!"

"She was already drunk at nine in the morning," Tony choked out. He hadn't thought about that day in so long, instead blocking the memories. They now threatened to flash in front of his eyes forevermore. Unperturbed by his son's hysterics, Angelo DiNozzo swung his hand again. Tony slumped forward and fought his tears,

"DiNozzo's don't cry," his father said harshly.

"We're at the summer house aren't we," Tony said, small. He had recognized the smell of the wine basement when the door opened. In fact he recognized the room; he had hid in it for two days when he was five. Then it was filled with boxes from his mother's youth, now it was empty.

"I'll let you go," his father abruptly said. "As soon as I feel up to it."

Tony's lip quivered the minutest, however he faked indifference.

"I doubt it matters much to your team," Angelo DiNozzo sneered. "I wonder if they even notice you are gone."

"They do," Tony said, doubt edging his words. He had been wondering the same thing. Just because he and Ziva were going to lunch doesn't mean she didn't forget about him. It definitely wouldn't be the first time nor the last time, he thought negatively.

"No," his father said resolutely. "They don't. You are worthless. I have no doubt you will wind up in the gutter, penniless and all alone."

Tony hung his head, his worst dreams he couldn't even wake up and escape from.

Ziva watched McGee sigh and lean back from the corner of her eye. They had been going through and re-reading the few files for hours. For awhile, they all were confused when Ava would say nose when she spoke, but when Mac said Di_Noz_zo, they quickly realized it must have been his nick name.

They had at first all eyed the cold case file, not wanting to read what it was that happened to Tony's mother and wanting to know something from his pre-college days. Inevitably, Ziva and McGee waited for Gibbs to grab the file and look it over.

After perusing it, he tossed it over to Ziva. McGee pulled in close to her to read over her shoulder. Warily, they began to read it, both eagerly and reluctantly. Once they finished it, they both looked at Gibbs. A shake of the head and they all picked up a file to read.

"His business looks like it's on the up and up," Mac said finally, empty cartons forgotton on the floor.

"Unfortunately," Ziva groused. "If it had not been, we could have shut it out."

"Down," McGee said absentmindedly.

Ziva flicked her fist wearily. Ava tossed a file on the floor,

"Looks like there are plenty of places he could be, that we know Noz's father has."

"Not to mention things he could've gotten under other names," McGee agreed.

Gibbs barked, "Keep looking!"

Ziva and McGee immediately set back to work, but Mac and Ava looked at Gibbs through half-closed eyes.

"Get some sleep Mac," Ava said quietly. "I'll keep helping them."

Mac looked too tired to argue with her; rather he padded to his room. Gibbs barely acknowledged his friends' reassuring tap. Ziva felt that Gibbs was beginning to get the need to just drive through the city shouting Tony's name out the window. While Tony was remarkably amazing at coming to Gibbs' every call, she didn't feel that Tony would be able to this time.

"Gibbs, can we not just go to his houses?"

McGee perked up, and then said thinking of the way New York spread out under his feet, "Yeah, he seems the type to keep things under his thumb."

Ava stiffened suddenly, grabbing the attention of the others.

"You know," she started out slow, "Noz always hated his house. In our military history class, our instructor was talking about the mansions he had to patrol one month because of an ambassador. Noz, he didn't react so well when he described what I assume was his place.

"We had never seen Noz afraid, always the first to jump," Ava continued thoughtfully. "But that is what he looked like…"

Abruptly, Gibbs stood, "Then that's where he'll be. His father likes him afraid."

Ziva shook her head, "Perhaps not. He has summer homes, yes? And a city apartment, a house on the west coast, one in Switzerland. It could take us too long to figure out which one."

"We'll just start at the ones here and go from there," Gibbs began walking to the door.

"Uh, boss?"

"What McGee!"

McGee scrunched his face, sorrowfully, "Uh, well boss, it's four in the morning. If Mister DiNozzo is at one of his places he would definitely be there now. Maybe the one with Tony. Can't we just find him on the GPS from his car?"

He gulped silently when Gibbs drew up close.

"Good thinking McGee," Gibbs lightly patted him on the shoulder. "Do it."

McGee nodded and speedily made his way onto his laptop. A few moments of tapping and,

"Got it boss. Are we going now?"

Ziva, McGee, and Ava all looked expectantly at Gibbs who finally began to look tired. He shook his head and explained,

"No, we're exhausted. We aren't going into a fight dead on our feet."

McGee winced at the expression as well as Ziva.

"And besides, those files need to be returned and us leave here before we get Mac and her in trouble," gesturing towards Ava.

Smiling, Ava said, "I think he forgets what I do for a living. I get people out of trouble. You know we can do this in a way to lessen the difficulty of this all."

Nodding at the responsiveness on their faces, she continued, "You guys stake the place out and if you can tell me positively that Tony is there, my team and I will back you up as a hostage situation. And we can get some buddies of mine on the West Coast to check out the places over there. East coast is on you though my team has limited time off."

Ziva and McGee nodded their heads, secretly glad to have back up. Gibbs, too, nodded. Getting her phone out, Ava made a call,

"Hey Scar. Yeah, yeah, listen; we may have a hostage situation. An old buddy of mine from RIMA, Tony DiNozzo, got it? As soon as his team finds out where he is, let's go get him," making her way to her bedroom she continued,

"Just tell him that just because he's temporary team leader of swing shift doesn't mean he has any seniority over you. That's right…"

They filtered the rest out as she finished her call and headed back to them with extra sheets and pillows.

"Someone can take my bed; I have to go into work in a couple so I'll just grab some shut eye there. You have my number, call me."

Becoming stern she glared at Gibbs, then, not unkindly, "Don't try to do anything heroic alright Marine? You've got the I'll call in and rush in just as quick attitude."

She spun around and left the apartment quickly. Avoiding looking at Gibbs, McGee grabbed a pillow and a sheet. Laying the sheet on one of the chairs, he pulled an ottoman close and arranged himself, feet propped up and pillow under his neck. The last thing he saw before slumber closed his eyes was Ziva situating herself underneath the counter between the kitchen and the living room. The memory of the team all asleep at a crime scene filled his mind, visions of Ziva's head on Tony's shoulder, before they seeped into blackness.

A/N: A couple more tonight...


	17. Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS.

***

Strangely, Ziva found herself being pulled into a nightmare. The distorted outer edges sharpening at the center of her vision frustrated her. Seeing the nightmare enhanced resemblance between the father and son angered her, because she just wanted to think only of Tony when she saw his face. Tony was tied to a chair, a man with a knife over him, as she left him there.

She walked out of the room and came face to face with Angelo DiNozzo, who smiled at her and beguiled her. The edges of his face were smeared, but his eyes pierced right into her and deceived her. Willingly, she followed him back into the room and now saw that Tony was not sitting over the man kicking him.

Screaming, crying, the body was the clearest her nightmare had been. Switching to a darker room, Ziva saw from far away that Ducky was talking to a body he was autopsying. A blink and she was looking into Tony's chest cavity, Ducky holding the heart out to her saying,

"You can have it, Ziva dear. I'm sure he would have wanted that, but just in case we just won't tell him, will we?"

Horrified, Ziva backed away. She turned around and started.

"You alright?"

Blinking the blurriness away Ziva sat up and checked her surroundings. The strange apartment she had come slightly accustomed to over the hours toiling over DiNozzo case files. The final image of a probie in Tony's desk was still vivid.

"I am fine," she told McGee.

"Nightmare," he nodded knowingly. When she didn't answer, he continued undeterred, "Me too. Gibbs went for coffee. He'll be back soon."

McGee turned away from her, giving her time to collect herself. Thankful, though not about to admit it, she needed time to wipe the moisture from her face. True to McGee's prediction, Gibbs came back bearing coffee for all of them.

"We'll head over to the first place," Gibbs said as his phone rang. "Gibbs. Yes, director. We will try. Nice of you to understand, Leon."

Ziva looked at him, expecting an explanation.

"Vance says to not piss off the NYPD, we're already on bad terms," Gibbs snorted. Then flipping his phone open, he dialed, "Tobias."

As they made their way to the car, Gibbs talked quickly with Agent Fornell. Pulling out of the parking lot, Gibbs followed McGee's directions to Long Island.

***

Grunting, Tony pulled his arms upwards hard. Succeeding in nothing, he used his entire upper body to pull at the tape over his arms. He knew his father would only come to him when he wasn't at work, mornings or evenings. And he also knew his father would take every opportunity to torture him, so if he remembered correctly, Angelo DiNozzo came in five times, meaning it had to be the morning of the third day.

"No," Tony whispered, remembering.

It would be the fourth day. Carlo had brought him to this nightmare a day before his father came. He stopped pulling, it was no use. He wasn't going to escape and even if he did he didn't know where he would go.

What else was there for him to do? Tony let his muscles fall limp. Not to conserve energy, but instead in defeat. His father hurt him; the words he spoke did more than the once-a-day tango with Vince and Rocco. They were good too, Tony thought. They must have learned from the mafia how to really beat people, enough to hurt them but not to make them defiant.

The door opened, whisking in Angelo DiNozzo.

Not speaking, Tony kept his face angled away from his father, a habit he fell back to promptly. Sneering, always sneering, Angelo DiNozzo cut the tape around Tony's wrists and ankles. A triumphant smile appeared in his eyes when Anthony stayed still in his seat.

"Finally, you have learned to behave."

***

"Well, he is not there," Ziva paced. "We have wasted time!"

Gibbs turned to Fornell, "What do you think Tobias? Got enough to search the premises?"

Tobias Fornell looked thoughtfully at the NCIS team and then back at his own. Sacks was standing arms crossed, impatient. They had been searching for two more days but still came up with nothing.

"Unfortunately, no," Fornell said lowly. "My team doesn't think he is being held at the warehouses either."

Ava walked up to the group who were all gathered at a hot dog stand near the FBI building. She shook her head,

"My team has been staking out the office buildings. We need to start looking at the summer home near the Hamptons. I got a friend to check out the place in Napa…"

Fornell raised an eyebrow and gave her a cursory glance, which she returned. Sacks huffed behind them, causing Gibbs, Ziva, McGee, Ava, and Fornell to glare at him.

"Not helping there Slack," Ava pulled out a ten dollar bill. "One with mustard, ketchup, onions, and a water. Thanks."

McGee smirked at Sacks who was about to protest the nick name. He pulled out his phone and answered,

"Hey Abs. No we haven't found him yet."

"Timmy, what are we going to do? If we don't find him, I don't know if we'll be able to handle it. He's so important and-"

McGee suppressed an impatient urge to stop her; rather he let her prattle on. He knew that Abby needed to talk herself through the fear and back into the hope she so wonderfully had an endless supply of. Gibbs was frowning, looking at a piece of paper.

"-he could be seriously hurt!"

"We'll get him before that," McGee interjected, hoping what he said was the truth.

"What if we don't and I do mean we because I'm-"

McGee watched Ziva finger the edge of her holster. Fornell's team all were waiting for the next move to be planned, antsy with standing out by the steaming hot dog vendor instead of in the AC.

"He's not in Napa," Ava slid her phone into her pocket and grabbed her water. "Just got a call, said no one is in the Napa house. Not even a maid."

Gibbs nodded, "Let's check out the place in the Hamptons."

Ava shook her head, "Gotta go. Scar says we've got a bank robbery by the Empire State Building."

McGee waved goodbye to her as she hopped into a car and took off. Fornell spoke quietly to his team before speaking to Gibbs,

"Listen Jethro, I can't send my team to the Hamptons right now," he sent a withering glare to the building behind McGee, "my boss isn't too happy with us right now."

Gibbs nodded and pointed at the building, "Go ahead then. I understand."

Fornell grimaced before saying uncharacteristically nice, "We'll find him Jethro. He's a good agent."

"And a good man," Gibbs agreed.

Ziva glared menacingly at Sacks before opening the door to the car, McGee copying the actions. Chuckling, Gibbs pushed himself into the driver's seat and pulled out into oncoming traffic.

After pulling up to the gate at the DiNozzo Hampton mansion, Ziva momentarily was awed by the enormity and beauty of the place.

"Tony grew up with this," she heard McGee ask incredulous.

"Nope," Gibbs said. "He just came here. Nothing special for a frightened little boy."

Ziva heard the resentment in Gibbs' voice and wondered what would have come of Tony if his father treated him anything like Gibbs treated his daughter. Almost unhappily, she realized none of them would have ever crossed paths with Tony if he had grown up in a home that didn't terrorize him and scare him in their direction. Perhaps he may have been a cop, but perhaps not.

They scoped the place and decided that the best way to figure out if Tony was here was to make their way to a vantage point of the main delivery doors of the house, which faced the ocean.

"Ziva, make sure he isn't in the boat house," Gibbs whispered.

Nodding, Ziva quietly slipped past the security and into the foliage inside the grounds. Keeping her eyes constantly moving Ziva picked her way around the wall moving towards the boat house. Crouching behind a bush, she calculated the distance of open space between her and the side door. Just as she was about to make a dash for it, the burly man she encountered at Tony's and in DiNozzo Enterprises came out of the boat house.

A scowl marred her features, but inside she felt elation. If the men that most likely were beating Tony up were here then he had to be. Resisting the urge to shoot him, Ziva stayed a moment longer ensuring no one was following. Deftly, she crossed the space and picked her way into the boat house. Scanning the room, she saw a yacht and a motorboat. However, Tony was nowhere to be seen.

Checking out the yacht, Ziva concluded Tony was not here. Hearing the lock unbolt, Ziva hid.

"Hey Rocco, hurry up," the burly man said as he waited at the door.

The other man from Tony's apartment came in, "Calm down Vince. I'm right here- don't get your tighty-whities in a twist."

They sat at a table in the corner and picked up the guns, cleaning them. Ziva was impressed that they were that perceptive. Unsure what they were doing here, Ziva hoped they would either talk or leave.

"Carlo says that we may haf'ta take DiNozzo back," Rocco grunted.

Sighing, "Drop him off in the city, he's a fed, he'll figure a way home from there. Why should we help him anyway?"

Silence for a couple moments until, "Well, Tony isn't so bad. It's just bad luck that his pop don't like him so much."

Vince hummed in agreement as a ringtone shrilled.

"Damn! Carlo's calling," Vince cursed again. "And he wonders why we stay here instead of with him."

"It's kinda early to go see Tony," Rocco said skeptically.

"Not our call," Vince spoke exasperatedly. "Let's get going. It takes awhile to get to the basement."

She listened to their chairs scrape against the ground as the stood and left. When satisfied they weren't doubling back, she made her way back to Gibbs and McGee.

"Well," Gibbs said as she came within hearing distance.

Shaking her head, she spoke quietly, "Not there. But Rocco and Vince were. I think that Tony is being kept in the basement. That is where Carlo is."

"Okay," Gibbs began before McGee interrupted him.

"Calling Ava boss!"

"I will call Director Vance," Ziva quickly interjected. They needed to keep this all recorded as best as possible.

A/N: That's it for tonight, more to come I promise.


	18. Chapter 18

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS.

***

"Calling Ava boss!"

"I will call Director Vance," Ziva quickly interjected. They needed to keep this all recorded as best as possible.

"Vance," the director said immediately.

"We have found Tony," Ziva said.

She listened as he rustled some papers and called to Cynthia, "Have you visually confirmed?"

"No. But the three men that took him are here. They spoke about him being here."

A sigh, "Alright. Go get him, but watch your backs. If he isn't there and you get caught NCIS will be in hot water."

"Understood."

Ziva didn't know who hung up first but she was pretty certain they were close. She nodded to Gibbs who nodded back to her.

"Alright," McGee finished, hanging up. "They're on their way."

"Fornell will be here soon," Gibbs looked back towards the place impatiently. McGee noticed and steeled himself, and then he spoke confidently and forcefully,

"Boss, Ava says to sit down and wait for back-up. If you don't she'll personally kick your ass."

Gibbs looked at him eyebrows quirked the very slightest making McGee quickly turn away. Ziva would have found the exchange highly amusing except that Tony would be subjected to one more bout of big and burly. Settling herself against a tree, Ziva crossed her arms and tapped her foot anxiously.

McGee noticed that Ziva was unnaturally readable. He watched her from the corner of his eye, noticing many things that gave him a twinge of trouble. Obviously Ziva was impatient and worried, the foot tapping gave that away, but she didn't know that McGee could read the longing and bereavement on her face. After so long, McGee was unused to the openness of her features, normally having to gang up with Tony to figure out anything with Ziva.

Shaking a bit, McGee felt despair. This was his family, he cared about these people, and he wanted to have their sixes. If Tony could hear him now, McGee snorted receiving quizzical looks from Gibbs and Ziva.

"What set him off," he asked, it was something he hadn't thought about. Thinking back, he wondered if the others even knew.

Gibbs and Ziva looked at him startled. Reading that as they didn't know, McGee spoke again,

"I mean, Tony wasn't exactly having an easy time at it, but there usually is a stressor."

Gibbs sighed, "Hell if I know McGee. I didn't even know how angry he was at me."

"He is an excellent liar," Ziva reminded them. "But it is true; something would have to have set him up-off! Yes?"

Nodding, McGee frowned.

It turns out that they didn't have to wait too long. They stood and stoically watched as Fornell and his team drew their guns and strode their way. Moments later they noticed Ava waving from the branches of a tree. Watching as she tapped the shoulder of a man near her, they both twisted and spun until they were in another tree and dropped right behind Fornell and Sacks.

"Alright, my team is set up. Where is he," Ava smirked at Sacks. He glared at her as she turned to Gibbs.

"In the basement."

Ava winced and sighed. Turning to the man next to her, she spoke quietly,

"What do you think Scar? Basement?"

Ziva watched the man as he twisted his head back. He made a clicking sound with his tongue before responding to Ava.

"Let Gamble check the parameters. But really, if we just execute Lindstrom it'll be a cinch," Scar's Manhatten accent was punctuated by another click of his tongue to a man who had walked up to them.

"They cluck to each other McGee," Ziva whispered clearly regretting their presence.

McGee cracked a half-hearted smile before whispering back, "I think he was telling them to get moving."

Ziva's face twitched fractionally but still the expression remained that she lamented their assistance.

***

He didn't watch movies because they made him feel good. He watched them because they made him detached. TV shows as well, but movies were the best because they ate up a lot of his minimal spare time. Tony knew that reading would detach him far longer than a two hour movie, but he had a hard time establishing a relationship with the people in the books. Authors were loads better at humanizing than movie scripts. Movies, those it was easier to block out the sentimental parts, but books were a risk. Once the book ended, so did the relationship. And Tony DiNozzo avoided those like the plague.

Even funny one liner's, ironic really, didn't seem to pull him from his train of thought. His father never created the type of relationship with Tony that Tony created with Magnum. They were similar- him and Magnum. At least that's what Ziva told him a few episodes into an all day marathon. Abby had hinted at it a couple times and, surprisingly, so did Gibbs. Tony sort of saw it, but it was the differences in their home lives that made him say 'You mean handsome and charming?' Only Gibbs hesitated before deflating Tony's ego.

He never said it aloud, to himself or otherwise, but he felt he was more like Peter Bishop in Fringe. Not that he would ever tell anyone he watched that show, they would find that amusing to the point of disbelief. Regardless, Peter Bishop's father was crazy, a mad man, who created Peter into a creature of bad habits. Who left his son barely any good memories to fend off the endless bad ones. That's what kept him watching the show. Not hot Anna Torv, but the possibility of reconciliation between father and son. And, alright, Anna Torv.

These thoughts were so clear in his mind that Tony wondered if he was drugged. Ever since he got here his thoughts had been muddled by his father, his fear, his memories…. But now they were clearer than they had been for months. Perhaps it was because it was his ending. In the TV shows and movies and books everything became clear to the man about to die.

The door opened and Vince and Rocco entered along with Carlo. Carlo smiled at him.

"Anthony, how pleasant to see you."

"Huh," Tony grunted.

Carlo seemed to deflate a little bit at the less than motivated response. Tony would have smirked, but that would only serve to Carlo's needs. Carlo, however, would not be deterred.

"Alright Anthony. Mister DiNozzo is finished with you. But one last tango for old times' sake, huh? Vince, Rocco," Carlo looked at the taller men expectantly.

Tony closed his eyes lightly and ignored Carlo as he backed himself into a corner and Vince and Rocco did their jobs. It wasn't anything he hadn't had before and it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. It didn't feel long when the door suddenly burst open and flashlights and guns were pointed in every direction.

"Federal Agents! Put your hands in the air and turn around slowly!"

"Stop! Slow! Put your hands-I said stop!"

Tony kept his eyes closed, but he knew it was Carlo that ran. He supposed the familiar voice would run after him. It would've troubled him that he knew the voice, but right now he just wanted to detach himself.

"How dare you enter my house! I'll have you for this," his father's voice was raspy and rather weak. "Make no mist-"

"Shut up!"

Ziva's voice startled him. It sounded so angry and hurt at the same time. He wondered how bad he looked if she was so sad. Gibbs he could feel was pulling at his arms and trying to get him to stand up.

"Boss," Tony heard McGee's voice question.

"Go ahead," Gibbs' voice came from right behind his ear. The closeness startled him even more and he opened his eyes.

As he looked around the room he saw Agent Fornell cuffing his father harshly and reading him his rights. McGee was next to him roughly cuffing Vince, also reading him his rights, but he was glancing to Tony every once in awhile. Shock filtered into his brain when he saw Sacks cuffing Rocco. He felt rather than saw Ziva grab his other arm and help Gibbs drag him out of the basement.

As they walked, he passed the rest of Fornell's team and five more men. At the end of the tunnel, Carlo was being bodily picked off the floor already cuffed.

"Ave," Tony gasped.

Looking over her shoulder to him, Ava smiled, "Hey Noz. Good to see you."

Tony attempted to close his mouth, but his jaw hurt so he compensated by lowering his head. Ziva and Gibbs kept going, forcing Tony to turn his head and stare back at an old friend. She had already turned her attention back to Carlo though.

"You alright Tony," Gibbs asked as they set him down on the steps of the service entrance. Ziva moved back into the house, leaving Anthony with a bad feeling.

He sat numbly on the steps hearing Gibbs demand an answer in a way he had never heard his boss talk. But Anthony ignored his boss' barely concealed pleadings to respond. Something happened and now he didn't feel like he had to please this man anymore. It wasn't necessary for him to have a bond with this man anymore. Ziva returned with a glass of water and a towel to sop up his blood.

Tony DiNozzo looked up at his boss and Ziva as she started to wipe at his injuries. Surprise overwhelmed him once more when the tears on Ziva's face and the fear on Gibbs' shined down on him. Like a fire destroying one's home, he couldn't look away from the most miserable things he had ever seen in his life.

A/N: Let me know how I did! :) I know updates have been erratic but it should be getting better now my internet is up and running again.


	19. Chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS.

***

McGee sat along with Ziva on the couch in Director Vance's office. Gibbs was seated in a chair opposite the director. Fornell and his team were lined up against the door, all hoping for a quick retreat. They spent the last few hours typing up their reports and waiting for news about Tony when Vance called them up.

"I want to let you know that what you guys did back there was a good thing."

Ziva looked at the director, eyes narrowed in confusion, McGee doing the same, both thinking about how Vance never really liked Tony.

"Not only did you successfully bring Agent Dinozzo back, but you cooperated with TRU. A relationship that hopefully will last a good long time," Director Vance pulled a toothpick from his lip and pointed it at Gibbs. "Thank you Agent Fornell for your assistance."

Repressing the urge to roll his eyes, McGee sighed. He was wondering if he would try to stop Ziva from attacking the director or plead self-defense. Fornell took the statement as a dismissal and took his team before giving the NCIS agents a nod.

"I am glad to know that DiNozzo is safe," Director Vance continued. "He may not be back for some time though. I warn you, if the only thing he had to recover from was physical injuries I would clear him as soon as his doctors.

"However, it seems he may have to go through some therapy before a psych eval to come back. I want to know if you want to be taken off rotation or not Gibbs."

Gibbs sat silently staring at Vance as McGee and Ziva shared glances. Following Gibbs' lead, they stood up and met him at the door. With his hand on the doorknob, Gibbs turned to Vance and said,

"Take us off. We have to bring back a lost agent."

Vance nodded at them as though he had suspected the answer, already marking something down. McGee and Ziva followed Gibbs to the bull pen where Fornell stood waiting.

"Bureaucratic bullshit," he said in greeting.

A chuckle sounded from Gibbs' chest, "Yeah, well, that's their job."

Fornell nodded, "Any director. I expect to get the same cock from my director when we get back. So, you on your way to see DiNotso?"

"Yeah," Gibbs answered. "Thanks for the help Tobias."

"Say nothing of it," Fornell glared at the two agents behind Gibbs. "At all."

Then Fornell turned and exited the bull pen. The three agents all went to their desks and pulled out anything they would need the next few days. They each drove separately to the hospital, each preoccupied with thoughts of how they would deal with Tony. Again. It seemed that Tony had every possible thing go wrong for him at the same time. And now the team was left to deal with the broken pieces.

"I told you I'm fine," Tony's voice bellowed.

"Sir, if you'll just calm down," a nurse's voice tried to appease the patient.

Gibbs smirked a bit when Tony threatened, "Don't call me sir!"

"Fine! Just let me administer the pain medication Mister DiNozzo!"

Gibbs rushed into the room just as Tony glared menacingly at the cute nurse. God, why was it they always made the mistake of calling him Mister DiNozzo? Gibbs immediately reassured the nurse before Tony got so worked up they would have to sedate him,

"Don't, pain meds make him loopy. He'll be fine."

The nurse looked at him suspiciously, "You his father? Either way, the doctor told me to administer them to Mis-"

Gibbs gave her his dangerous smile, "Nurse… Matlock? You'll just have to let the doctor know that he refused them."

Tony growled from the bed causing the young nurse to look over her shoulder at him slightly disturbed. After looking at Gibbs again, Nurse Matlock nodded shortly and all but rushed out of the room. McGee had to make a quick hop to the side so as not to hit her. Ziva glared after the blonde as she entered, cutting off McGee.

"So," Gibbs looked pointedly at Tony. "When are they letting you out?"

Tony shrugged, "Don'no"

"Ah, I thought I wouldn't get here before you all," a voice said from the doorway.

"Doctor Pitt," McGee shook his hand as Brad Pitt entered the room giving a cursory glance at the man lying down. "Nice to see you."

"You too Agent McGee," Doctor Pitt smiled at Gibbs and Ziva who nodded. "I talked to your doctor Tony. Says they'll keep you over night because of the concussion, but you'll be free to go tomorrow morning."

"Great," Tony said.

"But," Doctor Pitt winced apologetically. "You'll have to meet with a psychiatrist twice a week…"

Tony sighed, "For how long?"

The four stared at him surprised that he was being so calm about therapy. Doctor Pitt shrugged finally saying,

"Depends on the psych."

Nodding at the answer, Tony pulled his sheet up a little more and rolled onto his side facing them. He closed his eyes saying,

"Abby brought stuff. It's by the window, help yourselves."

Looking over to the table, McGee chuckled when he saw Bert, a Caff-Pow!, and chocolate bars. McGee took a glance at Gibbs before opening a candy bar, because he hadn't eaten pretty much all day. Ziva he noticed had brought a nutrition bar with her. Gibbs crossed his arms and stared at Tony, who was humming softly.

To his right, Ziva shook her shoulders slightly before humming with Tony. It was familiar, McGee decided. He definitely heard it before, but he was so tired it didn't really matter to him all that much. McGee looked at Tony's eyes and stilled, chocolate bar half-way up to his mouth. They were completely dead, the eyes, no sign of the pain he must be going through. Whatever his father had said to him completely obliterated the Tony DiNozzo Timothy McGee had come to respect as a friend.

Gibbs must have noticed too, because he looked nauseated. McGee wondered what they thought they would do, because right now they all seemed as lost as the man in the bed. And for some weird reason McGee felt that Tony wasn't as misplaced as they were. He was the one who needed help, however he didn't seem too upset.

"Tony."

Tony jerked and stopped humming, Ziva continuing a few seconds more before stopping as well. She sent Gibbs a look.

"Yeah?"

Gibbs spoke, "What happened?"

Sitting up, Tony took a deep breath and coughed as Pitt checked his lungs. Pitt frowned slightly before switching from his chest to his back. Tony hissed. They all tensed as Doctor Pitt pulled the hospital gown apart in the back and looked at his back. Ziva craned her head to see.

"Checking out my butt Ziva? I'll have you know it's a perfect ten," Tony joked before hissing again as Pitt touched his back.

Ziva frowned, but not at Tony's remark, his back looked like he had been beaten with a crowbar. In some spots there were punctures but the rest was the color of raw meat, purpling. Bile rose in the back of Ziva's throat and she pursed her lips together. Pitt glanced at the others signaling for them to back up and let him look over Tony.

McGee immediately spoke, "I'm getting coffee, boss, Ziva?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow, "Think you can find the good stuff MahGee?"

McGee stammered a second before saying resolutely, "If I have to threaten my way to it, I will boss."

Gibbs' lips twitched, nodding in approval. McGee looked at her questioningly, but Ziva shook her head. Instead of stepping back like Gibbs did, Ziva knelt next to Tony and grabbed one of his hands. Looking him in the eye, Ziva tried to reassure Tony. Pitt sighed slightly before removing Tony's other arm from its sleeve. The bile that was still in Ziva's throat doubled and she barely could keep it down.

Tony didn't seem to notice the trouble she was having though. He kind of passively allowed her to hold his hand and let Pitt check his upper body. Suddenly, Ziva's eyes found the bandage around his ribs. Her mouth was working to keep the vomit down; looking into his eyes once again finally she rushed out of the room. Running to the closest bathroom, Ziva cupped her mouth.

Banging into a stall, Ziva heaved. Only bits of the nutrition bar and water came up. She heaved again and again finally sitting there dry heaving, back arched. Flushing the toilet and wiping at her mouth, Ziva went to the sink and turned the faucet on before rinsing her mouth and face. Looking in the mirror, she saw a middle-aged woman glancing at her.

Sighing, Ziva stared at herself in the mirror. The last time she did this was when she saw her sister's body on the street. It wasn't like it was anything she hadn't seen before on others. But for some reason, whenever she saw Tony with injuries it made her stomach churn uncomfortably. She had shrugged it off to being worried about her less lethal partner, but it wasn't that exactly.

Blinking, Ziva breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. Tony's eyes looking at her popped into her memory. The sick feeling came back. That was it, Ziva realized, the combination of the completely black and blue torso and expressionless eyes from the usual exuberant man. Shaking her head, she pushed herself up and made her way back to Tony's room.

Gibbs stood in the hallway waiting for her. Looking around, Ziva didn't see McGee, Abby, Ducky, or Palmer in Tony's room. Confused Ziva looked at Gibbs.

"You alright?"

Ziva nodded, "I'm fine."

Gibbs stared at her unbelievingly. Ziva tried to ignore it until finally she broke down,

"His skin reminded me of the time I went to the butcher with my mother when I was small. He was using a heavy mallet to tenderize the meat."

Gibbs seemed to understand what she was getting at because he placed his hands on her shoulders and said,

"They're just bruises. A couple broken ribs, but he's physically okay."

"It's amazing," Ducky interjected startling Ziva slightly. He walked up to them and continued talking, "Yes, considering, he could have had problems with internal bleeding. However I think Doctor Pitt is checking his lungs right now. I can't say they are okay, being in a basement for a week."

Almost as though he had been summoned, Doctor Pitt appeared in the doorway before closing it behind him.

"Doctor Mallard, his lungs are fine. He has a little fluid in them but with the antibiotics and staying warm and dry, he'll be one hundred percent in a few days."

The three sagged in relief until Doctor Pitt held up a hand.

"However, and since I'm not a psychiatrist I can't tell you certainly, it seems Tony has cut himself off from… pain, people. I'm concerned."

McGee walked up with Abby and Palmer trailing behind them. They wore concerned looks on their faces seeing everyone converged in the hallway.

"What's going on," Abby demanded. "Is something wrong?"

"No Abs," Gibbs answered. "Just talking about Tony's psych visits. Bi-weekly, every week."

Abby nodded slowly as though she knew something was being kept silent but decided she didn't want to know.

"Can we go in?"

Doctor Pitt shrugged, "As long as you don't over whelm him. I suggest three at a time. Well, I'll come back to check on him before I leave."

Then nodding to them he walked off. The group decided to let Abby, McGee, and Palmer go in first. Abby opened the door exuberantly, and then stricken, she cautiously entered the room.

Gibbs listened as Tony assured her he wasn't about to run off because she slammed the door open. Ducky suggested they get something from the cafeteria, so he and Ziva followed Ducky's lead. Glancing at the liaison officer, Gibbs felt something akin to sadness that she had been so affected by Tony's predicament. Supposing it was because she herself knew what it was like to have a hard father, though he doubted Eli David actually physically hit her, Gibbs also knew it was because the two had a bond, an understanding between the two.

It wasn't easily explainable except that it just existed. As they went through the line, he ordered Ziva to pick something more substantial than a banana. She sent him a glare when he turned away, but he didn't mind. As long as she kept up her strength. The group of them had a hard next few weeks, he supposed, though Gibbs didn't know what Tony was like after an encounter like this with his father.

And that scared him.

A/N: It's longer because it took me so long to update. Enjoy!


	20. Chapter 20

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS.

Warning, this chapter gets pretty dark. Tony talks about his mother and it gets kind of nasty, don't worry nothing graphic, but I felt I needed to warn you guys. Hopefully you'll bear with me the next few chapters because it's all Tony and the psychiatrist. After that the sun comes back out! I promise!

***

It took only two hours for them to notice a change in Tony DiNozzo after he was released from the hospital. Gibbs brought him to his house because the apartment was still messed up from the previous week. That was one reason, the other was because he wanted Tony with him at all times as a precaution.

It was McGee who noticed the change in the first two hours. He asked Tony if he wanted to watch television, his voice betraying his concern. Tony hadn't said a thing about television or movies. The answer surprised them. No. Without an explanation all the others could do was change the subject.

The first time someone entered Gibbs' house without knocking they noticed another change. Tony didn't have his Sig on him but the lamp on the table was suddenly raised over his head ready to throw. Abby still couldn't get over the fact that Tony was about to throw it at her, no matter how well Gibbs or Ducky explained it to her.

Ava had taken some time to come and talk with Tony for an afternoon, but time had passed and they knew it. So she left after dinner to make her way back to New York.

"Ready for your first session Tony," Gibbs jingled his keys to get Tony moving.

Tony sighed and dragged himself off the couch and followed Gibbs. It was painfully obvious to Gibbs that Tony didn't like psychiatrists, not that he did either, but it was mandatory. Mandatory and a saving grace because he sure as hell didn't know what to do. At least if Tony came back from the session pissed off they could slam the world of psychology together as the boat was worked on.

Gibbs looked at Tony as he pulled up to the house that the psychiatrist worked out of. If the clenched hands and shaking right elbow had any say, they'd be screaming 'I don't want to be here.'

"You'll be here when I'm done?"

"Yep," Gibbs said simply.

Nodding Tony opened the door and stepped out. Gibbs half expected him to say something about a quick get-away, but the changes in Tony made him wary to expect anything.

The door slammed shut and Tony stalked up to the house. Hearing his phone ring, Gibbs answered.

"Hello."

"Gibbs! How's Tony? Is it okay? Did he complain much about going to the psych-"

"Abby."

"Yes Gibbs?"

"He's doing," Gibbs didn't want to lie, but Abby would over-react if he said what he really thought, "as well as could be expected."

Abby was silent for a moment, "I guess that means he could be worse? Don't lie Gibbs!"

"He could be worse, he could be better."

Abby stomped on the other side of line. He heard her huff angrily, but he didn't know what to say to her.

"He'll be fine Gibbs," Abby pleaded. "He always bounces back! He can't not bounce back! He's Tony, it's his reflex!"

Gibbs stayed outside the house the entire time, so when Tony finally came out he had the car running and ready to go. Tony had his head cocked slightly to the side and his hands were in his pockets. It couldn't be too bad, Gibbs decided, otherwise Tony would be rushing to the car and they would already be half-way home.

As he pulled the seatbelt across his torso, Tony mumbled. Gibbs let his face tell Tony to speak up.

"Can we get some pizza, boss?"

Gibbs suppressed a grin as much as he could, "Sure Tony. Call it in, we'll pick it up and take it home."

Tony nodded and pulled out his cell phone dialing a well-known number. After placing the order he snapped it shut and didn't speak again until they made it through Gibbs' front door. So Tony made it far enough to want pizza again, but not enough to talk non-stop about the merits of the Americanized Italian meal.

That's the way it continued for awhile, a month going by without hardly any change in Tony. The team all knew why. It was because he had yet to discuss things with the psychiatrist. However they couldn't do anything about it, it would only aggravate the issue. Plus, all of them had their own opinions about that particular field.

***

"My mother," Tony began. "Let's not get into that."

"Humor me."

Tony chuckled tightly, "That won't work."

A shrug, "Please?"

"Hmm, not fair. Who told you," Tony asked. "That you should ask about my mother."

"Perhaps I'm just good at what I do, Tony."

Tony lifted a shoulder and let it fall as he shifted in the chair, drawing his leg up onto the other. Staring at the man near him, Tony tilted his head to the side as if contemplating.

"A lot of psychology is reading people, their emotions, lack thereof, and listening to changes in the voice."

Tony sighed, "Just like interrogation. You know that's what you guys do, interrogate us until we break down."

Silence permeated the room as the psychiatrist tapped his forefinger on his cheek. He sat at an angle from Tony in an armchair. Waiting for the younger man to begin talking, to open up to him.

"When I was five my mother went through this phase, Louis the fifteenth. I had the canopy bed, the candles, everything. I even learned to play the piano," Tony kept his eyes on the bookcase in front of him.

"The funny thing is that I was more frightened of the vampires in my canopy then of my father at the time…"

Tony drifted off a bit and cleared his throat, uncomfortable with his admission. The older man waited a second before saying,

"You know we aren't here to talk about your father."

"At least today," Tony looked over at the doctor briefly. "Right?"

Shrugging, he answered, "Definitely not today."

Again the two sat in silence until Tony took a deep breath and continued, "She drank my sea monkeys once. Not kidding! She thought it was her mint julep.

"You know the one time I told that story everyone thought it was funny," Tony grew a little perturbed. "No one thought to wonder why the hell she was confused in the first place! It was just a story I told!"

"Did she do that often? Confuse things with her alcohol?"

Tony wanly smiled, "Meaning was she an alcoholic? Yes."

"But that's not what scares you about her," the doctor prompted.

Tony reacted almost immediately. He shot the doctor a grave look and shifted in his seat again, bringing his hands closer to his body as if to keep himself from jumping up. Drawing in a deep breath, Tony shook his head,

"Can we call it a day?"

"No. You're here for another," he checked his watch, "forty minutes Tony."

Tony nodded and tightened his lips, "Alright. She, she dressed me like a sailor until I was ten years old."

"Dressed you or made you dress yourself," the older man asked kindly, his eyes already knowing.

Tony turned his head from looking straightforward to looking at the wall to his left, effectively shutting his face away from the doctor.

"Dressed me."

"And whe-"

"She would dress me and play with me like I was her little doll, make me play the piano for her every night, okay? And when she died I was glad! Glad! No more sailor suits, no more sea monkeys, no more vampires!"

Tony had jumped up and was pacing the room agitatedly. Every few steps his feet would falter before renewing with a forceful vigor. Running his hand through his hair, Tony shook. His voice had altered, jumping an octave higher and when he exclaimed his feeling over her death his voice had squeaked.

"Jesus, she was my mother! Wasn't she supposed to protect me?"

"Yes Tony," the doctor said gently. "Mother's are supposed to put their children's safety before their own."

"Every time it made me feel… dirty and scared," Tony continued. "Mother's shouldn't frighten their sons like that."

"You right Tony, what happened was wrong."

Tony abruptly stopped and whirled around to see the psychiatrist. Almost suspiciously he looked at the older man.

"You're the first. To believe me, tell me I was right," Tony clarified.

The statement seemed to anger the man slightly because he said more forcefully, "Why would a child lie about being sexually molested? They wouldn't. They don't know. I'm sorry Tony that people are out there that do that to children."

"My father probably paid them off, or scared them, into telling me it was my fault. That I was asking for it," Tony sat down heavily, breathing hard.

The doctor composed himself, "Undoubtedly that didn't help matters."

Tony chuckled almost manically, "No! It did not."

Leaning back into the cushions, the doctor asked quietly, "Does she still scare you Tony?"

"Yes."

The word seemed to bounce off the walls and reverberate in Tony's ears so he continued, "You know, one of my old partners, Kate, she asked that very question. Is it so obvious that she still scares me twenty odd years after?"

Shaking his head the psychiatrist answered, "No, only those trained in psychology or profiling really see it. Or the very perceptive."

"I think she just asked out of spite."

"Maybe."

Tony glanced at the older man, wondering what time it was having had to leave his cell phone and watch in a drawer in the receptionist area. A small shake of the head let Tony know they still had time on the clock.

"We're making progress Tony," the doctor said. "The last few times you were here all we talked about was the problems in the OSU football team last year."

Tony tried to grin, "It's great to know that someone watches football in this town."

The doctor shrugged. Tony shifted again and they sat in silence for awhile. It wasn't too uncomfortable, Tony decided as he sighed. The uncomfortable was talking, which he was great at, but talking about things that happened to him before college was brutal.

"It's not just remembering that bothers me. It's the nightmares," Tony said quietly. "Because I can't stop them."

"You can't control them," the older man supplied.

"Yeah," Tony's face twitched. Leaning forward, he rested his arms on his legs. "Control."

"And that's okay Tony. Needing control. Nothing you have to defend yourself over. But what do you do after the nightmares? Do they come one at a time or in groups?"

Tony clenched his jaw, "Usually they start the day of her death and don't stop for a week or two."

"Hmm."

"Ah, oh, huh," Tony was beginning to get malicious.

The doctor smiled slightly, "Do you drink during those two weeks Tony? To help you?"

"Sure, sometimes. But boss doesn't like it when I come into work hung-over," Tony said flatly. "You know, don't cross Gibbs otherwise…"

He trailed off briefly, "But we're not here to talk about Gibbs."

"Not yet," the doctor said.

Tony nodded slowly, resignedly. The doctor looked at his watch surreptitiously before standing.

"Alright Tony, we'll talk some more next time."

Tony took his time to stand and held out his hand, saying as the older man grasped it, "See you doc," he walked to the door and said as he opened it, "Tune in next week for more revelations about Tony's relationships!"

The older man just looked at the troubled agent as he shut the door behind him. With a sigh that validate his age, the doctor sat down heavily at his desk and opened the file with Anthony DiNozzo written on it. Jotting down 'sexually abused by alcoholic mother from time of age five years to age ten years,' he rubbed at his forehead tiredly.

A/N: I spent a lot of time writing ahead so the chapters should be pretty regular from now on!


	21. Chapter 21

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS. I do own the happiness that comes with knowing it starts back up on Tuesday!!!!!

***

And it kept going for weeks, McGee wanted to laugh at the continuous loop that had formed in their lives. Oh how he wanted to but it was just too hard to force some sort of happy emotion on his face, even if it was ironic. Every Monday and Thursday Gibbs would take Tony to therapy. Every Tuesday and Friday Tony would be in a relatively good mood. Sunday and Wednesday, the days before therapy, the team would have to ignore how irritable he got as the day went on.

Saturdays, by far, were the best ones. And this Saturday the theater by Tony's apartment was showing a marathon, Jack Ryan this time. Not as well known as Indiana Jones, but Harrison Ford was still kickass in those films. So McGee, in a fit of brilliance that made him smile for fifteen minutes straight, decided that Tony was going to see it with him.

"McGoo! You came! I'm ready to be sprung from this, er, home," Tony ended lamely as Gibbs could be heard from the basement.

Grinning widely at the use of a nickname, McGee answered, "Yeah, let's go! We'll be late."

"Where exactly are we going?"

"You'll see."

McGee gestured for Tony to pass him. Then looking back, McGee nodded to Gibbs who had stood at the head of the stairway. A small nod from Gibbs propelled McGee into leaving Gibbs' home and driving Tony to the theater.

"Jack Ryan? Really," Tony's voice had risen in surprise. "You read Tom Clancy McAuthor?"

McGee raised an eyebrow, "It may surprise you but when I learned to write, I also learned how to read."

Tony cracked a partial smile as they joined the line to buy tickets. He looked around him and bounced on the balls of his feet slightly. McGee personally felt that being around other people without needing to talk to any of them would be good for Tony. Abby was disinclined to agree. And Ziva… McGee couldn't really figure out what Ziva thought.

It all came to fruition as they walked to the Italian shop nearby to pick up some food.

"Thanks Probie. I, it was nice."

McGee made sure he hid the smile that was threatening to blossom. Instead he responded to keep Tony from feeling exposed,

"I think so."

It felt inadequate so McGee spoke again,

"We should just decide that whenever there is a Harrison Ford marathon we go watch it together."

Tony nodded as he pulled open the shop door.

"Mio Tonio! You come! Ah, look at you- you are too thin! Let me cook for you!"

The grandmotherly lady behind the counter smiled hugely at them as McGee inwardly cringed.

"Sorry nonna, but- just take-out for five. Or seven. Let's go with seven," Tony smiled. "Spent the day at the theater, it's time to fill up on your delicious heaven on a fork!"

McGee stood back and let Tony work his magic. Sometimes, these times especially, he was amazed by Tony. The ability to move forward. In the back of his mind, he hoped that in some small way he is part of the solution, that he helped his friend move forward.

And when Tony grinned at him as the grandmotherly proprietor packed some food into containers, McGee had a rush of accomplishment. He, Timothy McGee, managed to make Tony DiNozzo smile on his own for the first time since he was abducted.

"Ready, Probie," Tony asked from the door.

"That smells amazing!"

Tony nodded seriously, "Oh, you have no idea. Soon enough, soon enough Probie, you'll get to taste the loveliness that is authentic Italian food!'

"Let's go Tony."

And as the team ate together that evening, McGee felt the shift. From worry over the unsmiling man to glee over a poorly made joke made by said man. Ducky patted McGee's shoulder after Tony made the joke like he was the one who made the table erupt into laughter. And in retrospect, McGee felt he did. That night, when he got home, he sat down at his typewriter and began a new novel.

***

"I understand that was hard Tony," the doctor said.

Tony took a deep breath and sat down on his chair again. Then calming his shaking hands, Tony began to speak again,

"He terrified me."

"I know."

"It was the silence and rage. Not that physical abuse…"

The older man nodded, "Usually physical altercations are easier to deal with than those you can't figure out. Should I cringe or will that set him off?"

Tony nodded vigorously, "Exactly."

They sat in silence for another few minutes before the older man started,

"You're making great progress. I'm going to let you get back to desk work."

Grinning hugely, Tony turned his head to look at the doctor.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thank you! Does this mean that we're almost done?"

The hesitance in Tony's voice and face as he asked his question brought out a grin from the psychiatrist, who shrugged.

"I think a few more weeks, but ultimately, it's up to you. And before you say it, no. The reason I feel I can say this to you is that you know how much help you want and I'm able and willing to give it to you."

Tony contemplated this for a moment before nodding at the man next to him. It was time to face the nightmares and come out victorious. That night as Gibbs cooked in the kitchen for the two of them, Tony told his boss he was cleared for deskwork. The spasm in Gibbs hand and the grin that commanded his face spoke levels to Tony.

And since Tony had stayed away from alcohol since his return to DC, they splurged and bought colas from the nearby food mart. As they twisted the caps off their carbonated drinks, Tony couldn't feel foolish about two grown men celebrating with soda, he was too proud of himself.

***

A/N: Okay so I was re-reading the last chapter- I realize that Tony's mother most likely didn't do that stuff (not that we have yet to learn) so I want to let you know I took some liberties. Last chapter is what I call the low point of the story where everything after it only goes upward! More updates soon!


	22. Chapter 22

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS.

A/N: Well, here's pretty much the epilogue. Whew, this was a lot longer than it was supposed to be. Hope you all have enjoyed it!

***

His feet pounded against the concrete before thudding on grass. Pumping his arms and letting the exhilaration flow through his veins as he chased s suspect. His first chase since his return to active duty. Later, he knows, his lungs will make him wheeze a little uncomfortably, but it didn't matter. He pushed against the ground and tackled the running man.

"Ziva, get the car."

Ziva halted just behind them and gave Tony a glare before sighing. Opening her phone she called McGee.

"McGee, bring the car to the park on… Grain Street."

Tony cuffed the runner and pulled him upright before speaking to Ziva again,

"Who'd of thought the butler really did it."

"I'm not a butler," the suspect exclaimed angrily. "They-"

"Shut up," Tony gave the man a shake.

McGee pulled up moments later and they piled in. As they handed him over to be held in the local precinct, McGee turned to Tony and nervously messed with his cuffs.

"Welcome back Tony, it's good to have you out here with us."

Tony smiled widely and responded, "Oh, McSentimental. I couldn't leave Ziva all alone. With you none the less! You would've been killed days ago!"

As Gibbs watched from the other side of the room, the three got into a squabble. He was about to go over and smack their heads but he kind of missed the banter between his people. Not that they were ever going to find that out. He let his mind wander back over the past months from Tony's breakdown to his abduction to the four months of mental recovery. It had been hard, but enlightening. And if he was honest a pleasurable time spending with his family.

Tony suddenly laughed loudly and touched Ziva's wrist. Gibbs tilted his head; he was proud of Ziva's emotional growth, even more proud she hurt so badly and let him help her. Those two, Gibbs smiled, were good for each other. She kept him grounded and he kept her happy. McGee pointed at Tony, wagging his finger accusatorily.

Deciding they had spent enough time in the station he swept passed them and out to their cars. They followed. Just as he opened his car door, Gibbs heard Tony tell his partners something he would never forget.

"Guys? I've missed being out here with you. You met my father, so you know when I say you guys are my family it means a lot. I, thanks for being here for me. I never would have made it without you McGee and you Ziva."

Gibbs closed his door and started his car. As soon as he flew out of the parking lot, he grinned. His team was back.


End file.
